Just Breathe
by theblairbitchh-projectt
Summary: If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, Would you slow down? Or speed up? What would Rose do?
1. Everything happens for a reason

**Richelle Mead owns all characters, i just own the plot.**

If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, Would you slow down? Or speed up?  
Sometimes in order to forget & move on, you have to let go & trust the right person. Will Rose realize that soon enough?


	2. Its supposed to hurt, it meant something

"Military school? Are you fucking insane?" I shrieked.

"Rosemarie calm yourself, you're acting like a child!" said my bitch of a mother.

"You're trying to get rid of me aren't you? You should win the prize for mother of the fucking year" i said with as much hate as i could.

I cant believe it, my own mother, after everything I've been through in the last two months, she saw me as a burden!

"Rose, i think this would be good for you, after everything that's happend, you need some fresh air & a new environment, you cant be locked in your room forever."

The way she said that so calmly made me sick then again these days what didn't make me sick.

"There's nothing - "

"Let me finish Rosemarie, you dont eat, you dont sleep & when you do you wake up in sweats screaming, you haven't been to school in two months-"

"Can you blame me? they think i KILLED him mom. The second i walked into the classroom everyone glared at me, they called me a murderer, they said it was my fault" my voice slowly started to tremble.

"Rose you didn't kill him, you were willing to give your life for him."

Suddenly the flashbacks of that day came shooting at me. "Slow down Mason!" was the only thing i could manage to scream.

_"This is a RACE Rose, the point is to go fast"_

_"You're drunk, you dont know what the fuck you're doing, pull over & give me the damn keys Mason" i said trying to get him to stop the car._

_"Get off of me Rose, we're going to win" said Mason while pushing me back to my seat._

_"oh my god Mason you're going to get us killed"_

_"I'm warning you Hathaway, shut up before i throw you out -"_

_Everything from then on was a blur, i felt something shatter my ear drums, i opened my eyes & saw a car coming right towards us, i was bracing myself for the impact when i felt it, one car was coming towards us & one from behind._

_At that point i accepted that i was going to die, there was no way i was getting out of her with my life. I looked over at Mason, there was a huge gash on his neck & he was covered in blood.i I realized we were upside down in the car, our heads hanging down and hitting the top. I screamed as loud as i could hoping someone would hear me. nothing happend. I undid my seat belt & fell down with a huge THUMP._

_I was in so much pain but i had to keep going, i had to save Mason._

_I was trying to breathe when the smell hit me, gasoline._

_The car was going to burst into flames any minute._

_"MASON LOOK AT ME" i saw his had twitch. He was alive. oh my god he was alive, there was still a chance we could get out of this._

_He looked at me & i think that's when it hit me that he was dying. He was choking on his own blood._

_"MASON PLEASE BE STRONG, IM GOING TO GET YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY, JUST LOOK AT ME, DONT FALL ASLEEP" i pleaded. I was completely hysterical at this point. i was trying to open the doors but they were jammed._

_i was throwing myself at them & groaning as i ignored the sharp pain in my ribs._

_I was finally able to break a window, i cried as i got out ignoring the glass piercing my skin. "FUCKKKK" i was on my hands & knees on the street._

_I crawled over Mason. He was still breathing but fading quickly._

_"rose, I'm so sorry.."_  
_"No Mason, its okay, its not you're fault, you're going to be okay" i cried._  
_"Rose please dont hate me" he was struggling to breathe at this point._  
_"Mase, Mase look at me, you're going to be okay"_  
_"Rose, I'm going to die, I'm okay with that, I'm in so much pain, i just want it to go away"_  
_"Mason please dont" i was screaming at him, i didn't want to touch him._  
_"I love you Rose, you're the best friend i could ask for, noone can take that away, you're so amazing -" he started to cough "dont ever let anyone tell you other wise" He closed his eyes & just let go._  
_"Mason no wake up please" i was shaking him hoping the pain would bring him back"_  
_I felt someone grab me & i started yelling._  
_"HELP HIM PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP HIM"_

After that i remember waking up in a white noisy room, i looked up & saw all the machines i was connected to.  
I dont know how long i had been out. Then i remembered. Mason. The car. Blood. A nurse walked in & i started shrieking

"Wheres Mason? Is he okay? Please tell me he's okay" i cried.

They tranquilized me & 2 weeks later i was good to go. My mom had therapist & physiatrist talk to me about what happend. I would just sit there, i didn't talk, i didn't move. i didn't want to remember. After my experience on the first day i was back in school i decided i didn't want to go.  
I was being home schooled instead. My life changed so much in those two weeks, Hell in those 10 minutes in the car. I became so angry with myself, i refused to eat or go out. I hardly slept anymore, & when i did sleep i had these heartbreaking nightmares of that night, the night of the accident. It's not something i enjoy talking about.

"Rose? Rose are you okay?" said my mom while shaking me.  
"I'm fine mother." i said coldly.  
"Your cab will be here at 9am tomorrow, pack everything & please be on time. Try not to make a scene and here's the guideline book, read over it & make sure you're not breaking any rules." she said while walking away.

I snorted at her & walked up to my room.  
I cant believe this, she was shipping me off to some school because she thought i was crazy. I got my suitcases out of my closet & started packing. 2 hours later i was done & exhausted.  
I threw myself on the bed & grabbed the guideline book.

**Students will show respect and be considerate to everyone.**  
**- no piercings - no cellphones - no mp3's - no computers - no weapons - no tattoos**

that's when one of my brilliant Rose ideas hit me.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this kid?"

"If i didn't i wouldn't be here smart one, go get your little gun & start breaking skin.

"You sure are a feisty one aren't you" said the grungy guy while starting my tattoo.

I decided to get the words "Just Breathe" on my wrist.

i hate being told what to do & what to have so think of this as my way of being a rebel.

i would have to cover the tattoo everyday with foundation but nevertheless, it would still be there. "Alright you're all done, it came out pretty good" he said confidently. I gazed down at my wrist & sure enough it was done. it was beautiful, i fell in love with it the moment i saw it. i grinned like an idiot while paying & walking home.

I tried to be as quiet as i could while sneaking back in through my window without my mother hearing, the last thing i needed was her to barge into my room & look at what i had done. I took a quick shower & threw on some shorts & a tank top. I fell back on my bed hoping i would get some sleep tonight.


	3. When im gone

"Rosemarie you have 2 minutes to get your butt down here and into the cab" cried the devil.

"Shut it mother, I'm coming fuck sake" i yelled.

"i will not allow that disrespect in my house Rosemarie-" she yelled while i cut her off

"There's not much you can do now right? I'm being dropped off at the jail house remember." i said sarcastically.

She lifted her hand as if she were to slap me but i ran outside & with a grin on my face i said

"Bye mother, ill see you in Hell" i said as i stuck my tongue out at her.

She just waved & shook her head in embarrassment.

The car ride seemed infinite. Every time i would doze off id wake up & we would still not be there.

"Are we there yet?" i asked.

"No ma'am" he replied.

5 minutes later..

"Are we there yet? I asked again.

"No miss." he replied annoyed.

"Are we fucking there yet oh my god" i yelled.

The douche bag didn't even bother answering but i felt him going faster. I sat back pleased with a smile on my face.

FINALLY after hours we were here.

The building is huge, it looks like a mini city. I could get use to this.

"Welcome to St. Vladimir's Academy Rosemarie, this will be your home for the next 2 years, i hope you will enjoy your stay" said Alberta who apparently is a Principal there.

"Please, call me Rose." i said. I hated my full name, only an idiot like my mother would name me Rosemarie, god what was wrong with the world.

As Alberta showed me around, this tall, freakishly tall guy came in & started to say something - oh my god he was Russian. i could hear it in his accent. He had big brown eyes & had his curly locks pulled back, my god he was a sight to see.

"Very well Rose, this is Dimitri Belikov, he will be your mentor & help you catch up with your fellow peers."

"Nice to meet you Rose" said the Russian God.

"Rose?" He repeated.

"Uh yeah, Hi" i managed to say.

"We will start practice tomorrow morning at 6am & not a minute later is that clear?"He said.

"Sure why not" i said sarcastically.

"Is there a problem Miss Hathaway?" he replied while raising one eyebrow. He had it all.

"No not at all, now if you dont mind can you show me to my room, I'm exhausted" i said firmly.

" Very well, follow me."

I felt something vibrate in my pocket & remembered i had my phone. As i was about to answer, he snatched my phone, threw it on the ground and stomped on it.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR IDIOT" I yelled.

"Watch your language Hathaway and in case you didn't read the rules, NO CELLPHONES was on the list" he said as he looked straight into my eyes.

"I cant fucking believe you, you're a monster" i cried.

"I said watch your language Hathaway, dont make me punish you on your first day here" he said strictly.

"Oh I'm so scared" i said while trembling sarcastically.

"Very well" he said while opening the door to my room, "put your things up & you have 10 minutes to meet me at the track"

"What? 10 minutes? I thought you said we started tomorrow?" i questioned.

"Yes we were, until you decided to act like a child. 10 minutes is that understood?" he said firmly.

"Loud and clear fuck face" i said while grinning.

"What was that Hathaway?" he said.

"Nothing" i said while shutting my door in his face.

This is going to be a long 2 years.

I dont know if anyone is reading this story but if you are let me know so i can keep going(:

leave me ideas 3


	4. Lets fuck the world

Sorry about the delay :( i was busy. I hope you like this chapter !  
**I do not own Vampire academy, Richelle Mead does :)**

**Leave me reviews to let me know you're reading(:**

* * *

I went into my room and looked around.  
It was a nice cozy room with a queen bed and some other furniture. I had a nice walk in closet, it was already feeling like home.  
I walked into the bathroom and looked around, when i turned i saw my reflection on the mirror.  
To me, i looked so broken, i felt so lost, to anyone else i looked fine. I refused to tell anyone here about what happend back home. I wanted to start over, this Mason situation was taking the best out of me. i refused to be bullied again here or have people feel sorry for me again.  
I suddenly snap out of it when i realize i cant really breathe.

I run to the bedroom throwing everything out of my suitcase until i found it.  
My inhaler. After the accident, i was taken to a hospital & found out my lungs suffered some major damage because of all the smoke i inhaled.  
The doctor said it was Asthma, i however choose to call it distressed lungs. I cling the inhaler to my mouth and immediately relax.  
I suddenly remember the guideline book, it said something about "cadets with certain disorders may not be allowed" i remember asthma being on the list, its a good thing i have distressed lungs instead.

I snapped back into reality and realised i was 10 minutes late & i haven't even changed.  
I paced around my room getting ready and ran out.

I had to ask about 10 people for directions. damn this big place.

I finally reached the gym and stepped inside, the Russian glared at me.

"I said 10 minutes,Hathaway, its been 32" he spat out.

"I got lost" i shrugged.

"Very well, 30 laps now" he screamed.

"30 who?" i said confused.

He pointed to the track.

"You run around the little circle 30 times Hathaway" he said mockingly.

"You must be insane" i said shocked.

"want to add another 30?" he said.

I ran to the track and while he wasn't looked i gave him the bird.  
Who does he think he is, he's worst than my mother.

10 laps into the training and my chest was on fire. I felt tears streaming down my face. It hurt so bad and i knew i was bound to have an asthma attack any minute.  
I couldn't let him see that though. I pushed myself even harder, i looked down at my wrist and tried to picture my tattoo since it was covered up.

"_just breathe Rose"_ i thought to myself.

Then that pain hit my chest, i knew it was coming. I made up my mind that i wanted to live and i didn't care if i got kicked out.  
I ran through the track and felt Dimitri glaring at me.

"Hathaway what do you think you're doing" he demanded.

I picked up my pace and ran to my bag that was next to him.

I felt like i was about to pass about, i had to be quick.  
I rummaged through my bag and found my inhaler.

I threw myself on the floor and stuck it in my mouth. i instantly felt relived. Maybe there was a god out there.

I glanced at Dimitri and he looked scared, his eyes in shock were staring at me.

He snapped into action and kneeled beside me.

"Are you okay? What happend? Do you need the nurse?" he asked terrified.

"No, i was just about to have a distressed lungs attack." i said.

He looked shocked.

"A what?" he said while rubbing circles on my back.

"An asthma attack" i said truthfully.

He looked furious.

"That's impossible, i checked over your application" he said defensively.

"I never mentioned it on there" i said while looking away.

"You're just one big problem aren't you Hathaway" he said then instantly regretted his words by the look on his face.

What he said hurt. it really did hurt. i always felt like a problem but now that someone else said it, it crashed my world.  
I felt tears wanting to make their way out of my eyes but i held them back.

"Rose i didn't-" he managed to say before i cut him off.

"Save it General Belikov, do us both a favor and turn me in, i rather go back home than deal with this" i said while walking away.

Once i was out of the gym i ran to my room, i threw my door open & slammed it then threw myself on the floor.  
Why was everything like this? Why couldn't i for once feel a bit normal.  
I was a problem for everyone, i lost the one person who dealt with me & loved me for who i was.  
There's not a day where i dont wish i was the one that had died in the accident. Mason was so full of life, everyone loved him, no one would have even noticed if it was me.  
I went to my bag and pulled out a picture of Mason, my god he was beautiful.  
I held it to my heart & whispered

"I am so sorry Mase, i miss you so much, it was all my fault it should have been me" i cried out.

I must have passed out because when i woke up it was 1:42am, which means i missed dinner. I didn't care.

I stood up and walked to the bathroom, my hair was a mess and my eyes were swollen, my whole face was flushed red.  
I felt so defeated. I decided to take a shower and sleep a little bit more, i had practice at 6am anyways.  
I changed into my shorts and a tank top and lied in bed.  
I felt so homesick. I missed my room, and the feeling of being able to do what i wanted. Thoughts filled my head and made it almost impossible to sleep.

I decided to go for a walk. I opened my door and glanced around for anyone in sight.  
the coast was clear. I walked slowly, i really didn't have a destination, i just wanted space. I was doing just fine until i ran into a wall-a Russian wall.

"fuckkk" i said while grabbing my head.

The wall moved and looked at me.

"Rose, what are you doing up, its 4am." he asked.

"I couldn't sleep" i said simply.

"about what happend earlier-" he said

"Don't bother Dimitri, it doesnt matter, I'm over it." i managed to say while shaking, it was really cold.

He must have noticed because before i knew it, he took off his duster and was putting it on my shoulders.  
I shrugged it off and handed it back to him.

"No thank you General Belikov, i dont want to be a problem again" i said hurt.

"Rose stop it, i didn't mean that, i was just in shock. You looked so fragile, i was afraid you were hurt, you shouldve come to me" he said looking hurt.

"Yeah because we're best buddies and tell each other everything" i said while rolling my eyes.

We stood in silence for a second.

"So when do i go back?" i asked.

"Back, back where? he replied confused.

"Home." i whispered.

"You're not, i didn't tell anyone. You have potential Rose, I'm not going to send you back because of something you cant control like Asthma." he said.

"Distressed lungs" i corrected.

He smiled.

"I should get going, i have practice with you in 2hours" i said while stepping back.

He grabbed my shoulder and turned me.

"Get some rest Rose, and again, I'm sorry about earlier." he said.

I nodded and walked away.


	5. The best part of me was always you

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

i groaned.  
I had just managed to go to sleep.  
I rolled over and sat up on my bed. I felt like death and probably looked like it too. Lovely.  
I took a quick shower, got dressed and headed for the gym.

I went inside and Dimitri wasn't there.  
_How dare he._ Who did he think he was to nag to _me _about being late when he was late too.  
_Hypocrite._

I decided to get some breakfast and then come back to rub it in his face about him being late.

I was walking to the cafeteria that is until i saw her.  
I stared for a moment to make sure i wasn't going crazy.

"Lissa?" I managed to get out.

The blonde turned around and stared at me, then swiftly jumped to hug me.

"ROSE" her mouth was a perfect O.

"Wha..what are you doing here?" i asked her.

"My parents owned this school, my foster mom decided i was old enough to finally enroll. I cant believe this Rose, I've missed you so much! i cried for weeks when we left."

Apparently after her parents and brother died about 3 years ago, the agency decided it was best for her to move to a different state and start over.  
Lissa had been my best friend since Kindergarden. When they sold her house and she left i was a mess, i begged my mom to look for her, and she said she did,  
i doubt that very much.

"but tell me, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"my parents sent me here" i said quickly.

"Yes i understand, but why?" She asked, she knew there was a bigger motive.

Mason was a mutual friend of ours, Lissa adored Mason, she deserved to know the truth.

"Lets go to my room and ill tell you." i said.

On our way to my room we discussed how much our lives had changed since then. We had so much catching up to do.

I opened the door to my room and we both sat down. She watched me curiously and then i began.

"Remember Mason?" i asked.

"Yeah how could i ever forget him? how is he? she giggled.

I told her.  
I told her everything and anything about that night.  
She grabbed my hands while i told her and i heard whimpers and gasps coming from her.  
By the time i was done, i was emotionally unstable. It felt like that night all over again.  
I started shaking and crying and Lissa held me. She saw all the pain in my eyes.

"Rose, its okay, it wasn't your fault, Mason loved you, he would've done anything for you" she whispered.

"That's exactly it Lissa! He _LOVED_ me, he was _INLOVE _with me, i only loved him as a friend, he died because of _ME_, because i was weak" i cried.

"Don't you ever say that again Rosemarie, you did everything you could." she said while crying.

"You dont understand Lissa. I wish it would have been me. I feel dead. Everyday i wake up and he's the first thing i think about and the last one at night.  
I feel so guilty all the time. He was so full of life, he was every ones dream. I see him all the time. He's always in my dreams, just looking at me. Observing me. He looks so sad, so torn apart. I took his life for hell's sake Lissa!" i yelled.

Lissa looked broken. Her angelic face was covered in tears, her cheeks were flushed red. She couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth.

"He was always the best in me, but that part died when he left me" i cried.

I dropped down to the floor and just cried. Lissa came behind me and hugged me. She knew how i was feeling. She had been through it herself with her family.  
I was strong for her when that happend. I never thought losing someone could ever hurt this much.

"Rose..it`s okay to need each other, its what makes us strong. Its what makes us human. You haven't done anything to hurt yourself have you?" she painfully said while wiping away my tears.

" It's not about what I've done; it's about what I'm _capable_ of doing Lissa. I lose my mind sometimes. I cant help it. I just want to be okay again Liss" i said while starting to cry again.

_Knock Knock Knock._

"Rose? Are you in there?" said the voice coming from outside.

Before i could stop her, Lissa had already opened the door and let them in.  
I wiped my eyes a bit and realized it was Dimitri. _SHIT._

"Rose? Are you okay? He said while he came to my side panicking.

"I'm fine." i whispered.

"Me and Rose are old friends, we got a little carried away while making up for lost time, shes fine" said Lissa when she realised he didn't know.

I nodded and said "i went by the gym earlier today, you weren't there."

"Yes i know, I'm sorry, that was what i came here to talk about, Alberta needed me for something.

I simply said "Oh, okay."

Lissa cleared her throat and said "We better clean ourselves up Rose, we're going to be late for class."

Dimitri realised what she said was true and said "Yes of course, dont be late, ill see you in training later today Rose, goodbye Vasilissa." he looked at me one last time and then walked away.

"everything is going to be okay Rose, I'm going to take care of you, you've always taken care of me, now its my turn" she said with a smile.

"I'm going to freshen up a bit Liss, ill see you in class okay?"

"Okay, if you need anything dont hesitate to call me" she said ever so innocently.

She left my room and i slowly got myself back together. I was about to enter the restroom when i saw_ him_.

_So, here I am, 5 months later and he's three feet away from me. I could say hello, but I don't want to disturb the memory. Everything you can imagine is real._


	6. Sometimes it's letting go

I blinked hard about 10 times to make sure i wasn't imagining it.

Mason was in front of me. Mason. Mason, the one who died 5 months ago.

_I'm in deep shit._

"Mason?" I said gently.

Silence.

He just stared at me.

"Mason, I love you" i said in a whisper.

and with that he was gone.

I looked around and nothing.

_I was going insane. yay._

my fucking god.

only something like this would happen to me.

why couldn't i just forget?

I gazed down to where "Mason" just was and i saw nothing. Just air. Air that i was lacking right now.

I snapped back into reality and went to go get my inhaler when i heard a knock.

"Rose? Are you in there?" said my Russian jailer.

Without thinking i went to go get the door first instead of my inhaler. stupid, stupid mistake.

I opened the door, let him in and he asked "Are you okay?"

I realised i was holding my breath. _Fuckity fuck fuck._

"Rose whats wrong?" he demanded as he shook me.

I ran over to my drawer, grabbed my inhaler and breathed. Sweet, sweet relief.

" What happend Rose?" he said worried.

"I..Nothing, i was going to do it but got distracted when you knocked, I'm fine Comrade." i said gently.

"I just came to check up on you, you didn't seem very well when Vasilissa was here"

"Lissa, just call her Lissa. I got a little bit too emotional with her, but I'm fine. Seeing her was a shock that's all" i said convincingly.

"You missed all your classes Rose, i was worried" he said.

_What the hell?_

"I what?" i squeaked.

"You didn't go to any of your classes?" he repeated.

"What time is it?" i demanded.

"Its a quarter past 3 Rose, is everything okay?" he asked.

_How was that possible? I was getting ready for class when i..when i saw Mason. Did i really just stand there looking for over 8 hours? I'm losing it._

"Care to explain Rose?" he asked.

" I must have fallen asleep, i didn't realize what time it was" i said shocked, which was an understatement.

"It's okay Rose, i told your teachers you were feeling a little homesick and needed time to adjust. You're not in trouble, just dont make this a habit, understood?" he said.

"Loud and clear General Belikov" i replied.

He looked a little taken back then he grabbed my hand and sat me on the bed.

"Rose, if there is anything troubling you, please feel free to talk to me about it, i can try and help as much as i can but i cant do that if i dont know what the problem is." he told me.

"I'm fine, i just need to get use to all this." i said.

"ill see you first thing tomorrow Rose, bright and early" he said while walking out.

I sat there shocked. I couldn't believe i missed all my classes. Could 8 hours really pass like that? As i was there thinking of possible explanations my stomach started to grumble.

I changed into some sweats and walked down to the cafeteria.

While i was walking to the line, some idiot bumped into me, knocking me down on the floor, with him on top to make matters worse.

"i suggest you run while you can because when i get done with you, you wont have any fucking limbs" i screamed.

I looked up to see some emerald eyes. they were beautiful, and so was he. He had messy but stylish brown hair, high cheekbones and was probably around 6'2. Yeah he was beautiful. Maybe this position wasn't so bad.

"Whoa whoa whoa, calm it Princess." he said to me.

I glared at him.

He got up and then helped me up.

"are you okay? Did i hurt you?" he asked worried.

"I'm fine, but in about 10 seconds you wont be" i replied.

"Feisty, i like it. I forgive you for falling, every girl who takes a look at me has the same reaction" he said while grinning.

"You forgive _ME_, for you falling on top of me?" i demanded. "I oughta slice your neck you stupid poodle" i screamed.

Granted, poodle wasn't one of my best lines, but it was what he reminded me off. A really annoying, stupid, gorgeous poodle.

"No need to resort to violence beautiful" he said while smiling. "I'm Adrian, Adrian Ivashkov, & who might you be?" he asked.

"Kick ass. as in, I'm about to kick your ass." he flinched for a second then relaxed.

"Kick ass, that has a ring to it, let your mother know i approve of her naming skills" he said while laughing.

I glared at him. I wanted to smack the grin off his face.

"My name is Rose, Rose Hathaway" i said.

"Ah, that's much better, it suits your beauty" he said while smiling again.

God this kid smiled too much.

"Save it, id heard them all before, be original" i said calmly.

"Wanna sit with me?" he asked.

I scanned the room and Lissa was nowhere to be found. ugh, he would have to do.

"I guess ill bless you with my presence" i said.

"You are too kind" he said while leading me to a table.

"So i haven't seen you before, are you new?" he asked.

"Yeah, just got here." i said while eating his donuts.

This school had donuts. Donuts. Sugar filled rings of happiness. If i ever get married, i hope my fiance proposes to me with a donut ring.  
id be a happy lady.

"We must not have any classes together, i didn't see you today" he said actually sounding disappointed.

"i didn't go to classes today, i was still adjusting" i said.  
The second i said that his face lit up and he demanded my schedule.

**Rose Hathaway.**  
**1st period: Spanish 1**

**2nd period: MMA Math**

**3rd period: Audio/Visual**

**4th Period: Audio/Visual**

**Lunch**

**5th Period: Language Arts**

**6th period: Precalculus**

**7th period: Art 2**

"We have 1,3,4, and 6th period together" he said with a big ass smile on his face.

I grunted and said "What did i do to deserve this" while shaking my head.

"I dont know, but it must have been something good" he said chucking.

He had a beautiful laugh, the kind that made you want to start laughing with him.  
I liked the way his hair shook while he laughed.

I smiled and he said "Ah, that's a beautiful smile"

I blushed like an idiot.

"Aren't you the cutest thing" he said in baby talk.

I glared but couldn't help but laugh.

"C'mon lets get some air" he said while grabbing my arm.

He lead me outside to some benches where a beautiful fountain. I looked around and couldn't help but to admire the scenery. it really was beautiful.  
I guess that's what happens when you spend so much time locked up in your room, you start to admire the small things like benches.

"I take it you like it?" he said while looking down at me.

"Yeah, its..its beautiful" i gasped.

"Just like you Rose" He said while gazing into my eyes.

_He's going to kiss me. Oh my god. This beautiful cocky idiot is going to kiss me._  
_He leaned in and just as his lips were about to touch mine.._

"What is the meaning of this Hathaway and Ivashkov?" i familiar voice said.

I knew who it was, i just didn't want to look. I think Adrian did because he face went pale when he saw the angry Russian. Oh sweet Jesus help us.

"We..we..we were just getting some fresh air" Adrian managed to say while stuttering.

"Was Hathaway choking?" He asked, completely serious.

"What?No?" Adrian said shocked.

"She must have been, that's the only reason someone should go mouth to mouth on a fellow peer" he said.

Me and Adrian just looked at each other. We were in deep shit.

"TO your room Ivashkov, NOW." he said sternly.

"If this occurs again, i wont be this generous" he reminded Adrian.

"Yes sir" Adrian said while leaving.

I was starting to walk away just when..

"Rose, what was the meaning of what?" He asked.

"Uh, nothing Adrian was just showing me around" i said.

"You shouldn't put yourself in that situation Rose, especially with Ivashkov" he said, dead serious.

"I get in that kind of situation all the time, Comrade. It's not a big deal." I said .

"Stop calling me that. You don't know even know what you're talking about. he replied.

"Sure I do. I had to do a report on Russia and the R.S.S.R. last year. i said proudly.

"U.S.S.R. ..." replied Dimitri with a slight smile.

"My teacher loved it, ill have you know i got a D- on that paper" i said grinning.

He laughed and shook his head.

"Get to bed Hathaway" he said while pointing to the direction my room was in.

"Night Comrade" i said with a smile while walking away.

"Night Rose." he said.


	7. Just love yourself and you're set

**Hey guys(: **

**I hope everyone is enjoying my story, make sure to review it and let me know if would like to see anything special or to give me ideas.**

* * *

Practice with Dimitri was hell.  
I was debating whether to stab myself or the dummies.  
I think he was getting me back for what happend last night with Adrian.

"You need to be quicker" he spat out.

I stopped,looked over to him and glared as if he had grown an extra head.

"I can barely breathe and you want me to go faster?" i said in disbelief.

His face dropped the frown and suddenly he seemed concerned.

"Do you need your inhaler?" he said while coming over to me.

"Not yet, but if i keep this up i might need more than that to keep me alive" i said.

"You're being dramatic" he said with a small grin.

"Well someone has to me, might as well make it me" i said trying to catch my breath.

"Take a break and drink some water" he said while picking up the dummies.

"On it comrade" i said while laughing.

"Hey Rose, I've been meaning to ask you something" he said while sitting down next to me.

"Talk to me Comrade" i said while gulping down some water.

He smiled and said "Do you have any extra inhalers?"

I put my water down wondering where he was getting to but replied "Yeah, i have 3, why?"

"I was wondering if you could give me one, in case you forget yours or are not around it, that way nothing happens to you" he said.

i nodded and said "yeah, you can have the other 2, just stop by my room later and get them"

"Have you had asthma for a long time?" he asked.

_Oh shit._  
He didn't know about the accident. I didn't want him to know.

"No, it started about almost 6 months ago." i said.

"Do you know what triggered it?" he asked.

Did he have to ask so many questions, geez.

"No" i said simply and seriously.

"Are you okay? He asked. He must have noticed how uncomfortable i was acting.

"yeah, i just have to go, I'm meeting Adrian-" i said before he rudely cut me off.

"ADRIAN? Didn't i tell you to stay away from him Rose?" he howled.

He was acting like my fucking mother, who did he think he was.

"Who do you think you are? MY MOTHER? I understand we cant do anything physical but i can feel however the fuck i want about him do YOU understand?" i screamed.

We were basically chest to chest. I could feel his chest throbbing and I'm sure he could feel mine.

"I am your mentor and i demand you show me some respect. Ivashkov is not someone to be familiar with Rose"

"Haha you think I'm going to listen to your stupid little advice? I dare you to try and stop me, cut the crap Dimitri, this is none of your god damn business" i spat.

" I'm warning you Rosemarie, i demand respect as your mentor" he said.

He looked down at me. Damn him for being so tall. Damn him to hell, there is no reason someone should be 6'7. if he were my height i would have intimidated the hell out of him.

I looked at him and saw those big beautiful eyes, my god why did he have to be so gorgeous.

I took a step back and he did the same.

"Mentor my ass, Russian jailer is the term." i said while leaving the gym.

-x-x-x-x-x

"ROSE" i heard someone shout.

I looked back and saw Liss running towards me with someone.

"Yeah?" I said while starring at her.

"This is Christian, my boyfriend" she said while looking at the person standing next to her.

Christian was tall with black hair and crystal blue eyes. Not bad. Not bad at all.

"I'm Rose" i said while reaching my hand out.

He ignored my hand and said "Christian".

I eyes him up and down trying to see what Lissa saw in him other then his physical appearance.

"We have to go Rose but ill talk to you later" she said while pulling Christian away.  
I shrugged and walked to class.

Once the day was over and i had more homework than the trees on this campus could provide, i was heading to my room when something grabbed me from behind.

I immediately tensed up, grabbed my biggest book and banged whoever grabbed me on the head with it. I heard a groan and then a Thump. I slowly turned around ready to attack again, that is until i saw emerald green eyes. Adrian.

"I'm seeing stars" he said clearly out of it.

I dropped to my knees right beside him.

"Adrian are you insane? I could have killed you!" i yelled while lifting his head.

"I was just trying to surprise you, that way you couldn't deny me" he said while rubbing his head. He was going to have a wicked bruise.

"You surprised me alright, are you okay? Should i take you to the nurse?" i asked.

"Pish posh, i am a man, i will survive." he said while slowly standing up.

"A crazy man" i said while opening my room door.

"Only for you" he said while grinning.

I dropped my homework and bag on the floor and sat down on my bed.

"So what did you want?" i asked Adrian.

"To see you." he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Is that it?"

He nodded.

"So, you took the risk of being caught and then attacked by me, just to see me?" i asked.

He nodded proudly.

I got up and went to him, i bent down and kissed his forehead, right where i hit him.

"You're going to have a wicked bruise" i laughed.

"Battle scar" he corrected.

"ah i see" i said while giggling.

"ill be right back" i said while heading to the restroom to get a towel to wipe his forehead with.

When i came back, Adrian had something in his hand, i couldn't quite tell what it was.

"Who is this?" he asked.

_Oh fuck me sideways._

"Who?" i asked.

He lifted his hand and there in between his fingers was the picture of Mason.  
I felt my heart drop, what was i suppose to tell him?  
He didn't seem like the type to go tell my business, maybe i could trust him.

"Mason" i said lightly.

"is he your boyfriend?" he asked.

I told him. I told him everything that happend. When i finished he picked me up and embraced me in his hold.  
He wiped away my tears and stroked my hair.

"I'm so sorry Rose, i shouldn't have asked." he said feeling guilty.

"its okay, i trust you." i said.

"i wont tell anyone little Ripsi, but if you ever want to talk, I'm just a few halls, floors, windows, park, and doors away" he said while smiling.

"Ripsi?" I said looking confused.

He shrugged, "it seems fitting, you're feisty but have this amazing to you"

"Adrian if you're talking about my ass, im going to personally -"

I heard the knob on my door wobble but didn't have enough time to do anything.  
In less than 3 seconds i had a very pissed off Russian standing in front of me.

_Shit just got real._

"What did i tell you Rose, the first thing i tell you to not do, you go and do it" he yelled.

He pulled me out of Adrian's arms and pushed me aside.

He grabbed Adrian by the collar of his shirt and said "didnt i make myself clear?I DEMANDED you to follow the rules Ivashkov" he growled.

I pulled Dimitri off Adrian and said "You cant just barge into my room like that!" i screamed.

"Yes i can, you're suppose to be ASLEEP, i came to pickup your inhalers and look what i find" he said while facing Adrian.

"Get out of here Ivashkov, next time i find you here, you will leave in pieces." he said as he motioned Adrian to the door.

"My patience is running out with you Rose, you dont follow instructions, you're always late, and you're rude." he said while facing me.

"Oh but of course, you wouldn't consider me a problem if i wasn't" i hissed.

I went over to a cabinet and grabbed the other 2 inhalers, and chucked them at Dimitri.

"That's what you came here for? No scram. leave me alone" i said while pointing to the door.

"Its time to grow up Rose" he said while leaving.

Grow up? What did he know. I cant stand him. But something about him feels so right. Fuck off Rose, you're insane. Russian jailer is what he is, and always will be.

I tied my hair up in a messy bun, put on my pj's and headed for bed.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

_I groaned._

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

fucking bastard of an alarm clock.

I lifted my hand towards the clock and chucked it at the wall, silence.

I rose from my bed and rubbed my eyes. I slept pretty well surprisingly enough.

I headed for the shower and took my sweet time.

After that, i got dressed, covered my tattoo and was out the door.

I was walking minding my own business when i heard Lissa's voice say "I'm done with this conversation"

I walked over to the hallway where they were at and heard the self proclaimed queen bitch, also known as Natalie tell Lissa

"Aw poor baby scared?" i saw Dimitri heading towards them as well.

Natalie continued "You're the weakest bitch I've ever met, its a good thing your family is dead and dont have to see their disgrace of -" and that's as far as she got before i came out from the corner, balled my hand into a fist and punched her as hard as a humanly could. Lets just say i heard a loud crack.

She laid on the floor, and i got on top of her while pinning her shoulders down and said

"If you EVER come anywhere near Lissa again, i will create small paper cuts all over your body and have her pour salt on them do you fucking understand me" i yelled.

She tried to push me off her, oh hell no.

I grabbed a handful of hair, whipped her head back and then crashed it into the floor.

I was going to do it again until someone pulled me away by the waist.

"im going to boil you in fucking acid you stupid bitch" i screamed to Natalie once i was off her.

Whoever was holding on to me was really strong. I pulled and kicked and screamed to no avail. I saw other teachers rush to Natalie and Lissa ran to me.

"Rose, oh my god are you okay?" She cried.

No i wasn't okay. Some snidey bitch just told my best friend she was a disgrace and mocked her family's death. I was far from okay.

"No im not okay, how dare she said something about your family" i screamed while trying to push away.

Common sense kicked into me, i said "Who are you anyways"

I looked back and sure enough, Dimitri had a death grip on me.

"LET ME GO" i yelled.

He wasn't letting go.

I could feel myself growing calmer. I looked down to where my tattoo was and just reminded myself to breathe.

I'm guessing Dimitri could sense i was calm and he finally let me go.

I dropped to the floor and Lissa rushed to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"its okay" she kept saying over and over.

I pushed myself out of her arms, looked at her and said "no its not okay, she doesnt know what happend, she doesnt know how long it took you to get to where you are now Lissa,  
She doesnt know shit, shes a selfish bitch who takes everything for granted and looks for ways to hurt someone, she knew talking about them was going to hurt you Liss,  
She knew it and that's what makes it so disgusting" i blinked back my tears and just hugged my knees and placed my face between my legs.

Dimitri came over and rubbed my back then said "What you did was completely unacceptable". Was he serious? Did he not hear what she said to her?

"I dont give a rats ass Dimitri, you heard her, you heard what she said." i hissed.

"I never said i disapprove" he said with a faint smile.

He helped me up and asked if i was okay. i nodded.

Dimitri's phone rang, he answered, looked at me, and then said something back before closing his phone.

"That was headmistress Kirova, she wants you in her office, now" he said.

Lissa looked terrified.

"I'll be fine Liss" i said trying to reassure her.

"im coming with you" she declared.

I looked at Dimitri and he shrugged.

"Fine" i said before walking off.

When i got there, Natalie was there, along with a teacher who was there.

"Take a seat Hathaway" she said bitterly.

I did.

"Would you like to explain this?" She said pointing to Natalie's face.

"I know it was wrong to use violence, but she brought something up while arguing with Lissa that she should have never used" i said trying to make a valid argument.

"And what was that?" she asked, clearly interested.

"She mocked Lissa's parents death, claiming Lissa was a disgrace and saying that it was a good thing her parents were dead" i stated.

I saw Lissa flinch and the hurt in her eyes.

"Is this true Natalie?" she asked.

"Well no,..some" she stuttered

"Yes its true, i was there" said Dimitri.

"Very well" said Kirova.

"What you said was uncalled for and acceptable, Natalie, and you hitting a fellow classmate is crossing the line" she said while facing me.

"but since it was Natalie who started this apparently, consider this a warning." she said while glaring at me and Natalie.

I nodded and apologize for being an inconvenience to her day.

I got up and saw Natalie behind me, i stopped and said "good luck with the broken nose" while laughing.

She hissed and let out a muffled scream.

Lissa took my arm and directed me outside.

"Thank you, Rose" she said while hugging me.

"I'd do anything for you Lissa, you know that" i said while giving her a smile.

"Hey Liss, are you okay?" i heard someone ask.

I turned around and saw Christian in all his glory standing there looking concerned.

"Shes fine" i said.

"Yeah, im fine" she said while kissing his cheek.

"I heard about what happend" he said while looking at me, "thank you for defending her Rose" he said with a small smile.

"Its no biggie" i said while ruffling his hair, he frowned then laughed.

"God, i heard you broke her nose" he said while trying to stop laughing.

"Oh i did, the bitch wasn't going to get away with anything less" i said proudly.

"Liss we have class" he said while pulling her away.

"Bye Rose, ill see you later" she said while blowing me a kiss.

I winked at her and turned around.

This Russian wall was beginning to annoy me.

"Do you always have to do that?" I said annoyed.

"Do what?" he said looking puzzled.

"Become a wall that a bump into every time i turn around." i said.

He laughed. His laugh was beautiful, especially if you noticed his eyes gleaming.

"Can i help you?" i said.

"I just wanted to tell you that what you did back this was very admirable, standing up for Lissa like that" he said.

"Shes my best friend, dont expect any less." i said while grinning.

"Next time try to control yourself and not punch anyone" he said while letting out a chuckle.

"Stop laughing at me! I was mad" i said outraged but smiling.

"I could see that, it was hell trying to hold you down" he said.

"you shouldve let me go" i said.

"You would have killed her" he said looking shocked.

"Well that's doing everyone a favor" i said while grinning.

_he looked down at me, and i looked up at him._  
_When our eyes met, it was like nothing I've ever felt before._  
_It was amazing._  
_He was so beautiful, just the sight of his eyes made my knees go weak._  
_I felt him tug at my waist and i froze._


	8. Everytime I close my eyes, hes all I see

_He looked down at me, and i looked up at him._  
_When our eyes met, it was like nothing I've ever felt before._  
_It was amazing._  
_He was so beautiful, just the sight of his eyes made my knees go weak._  
_I felt him tug at my waist and i froze._

Just then someone cleared their throat very loudly.

Dimitri let go of me and faced the person.

"Tasha?" He asked in disbelief.

The women standing there had black hair and wintry blue eyes.

"Dimka" She shouted and pounced on him.

Who the hell was she?

"What are you doing here?" He asked with a huge smile.

"My nephew is going here and decided it would be a good idea if i stayed close to him" She said while letting go of Dimitri's neck.

"Who's your nephew?" He asked.

"Christian Ozera" she replied cheerfully.

Lissa's boyfriend? They did look alike.

"I cant believe this, i haven't seen you since i left Russia" He said, clearly happy to see her.

So while they're basically pouncing on each other i left here unnoticed. lovely.

"Who's this Dimka?" She asked while looking at me.

Dimitri suddenly remembered i was there, cleared his throat and said "Rose, i am her mentor"

"Its so nice to meet you Rose, you have an amazing mentor if i do say so myself" She said while leaning in to hug me.

"Thanks" I said simply while backing away.

"Are you okay Rose?" Said Dimitri while walking towards me.

I backed away and said "Yeah, fine, i have to go" while running as fast as i could.

I stopped when i finally reached somewhere empty and silent.

_What was that? Who was Tasha? Why was she all lovey dovey with MY Dimitri?Her Dimitri? Our Dimitri? Was i jealous? Oh god no. He's my Russian Jailer. That's it._  
_She's probably just an old friend right? She must be married or a lesbian, shes so not into Dimitri right?_

_At this point i was pacing back and forth in the little park. I scared away all the birds and ants with my moving feet._

_Why was he so happy to see her? Did she think she was cute? Maybe she was his sister? Yeah his sister with a nephew is didnt know about. that's it. not._

"Rose?" Said a voice.

I immediately stopped dead in my tracks, turned around ready to attack and saw who it was.

Adrian.

"Hey" i said while letting my defense down.

"Are you okay? You been like this for the last 45 minutes" he asked concerned.

"You've been here for 45 minutes?" i asked annoyed.

"Yeah, just watching you is enough to make me happy" he said sweetly.

"Im fine" i said lying.

"No you're not" he said determined.

"Yes, i am" i said stubbornly.

"What happend?" he asked.

"nothing happend Adrian" i yelled and threw my hands up exasperated.

"Whoa calm down little Ripsi" he said calmly.

How dare he?

"How dare you call me by another girls name? Did you forget my fucking name already? Ill give you a beating to make sure you dont ever forget it again" I screamed while making my hand a fist and swinging it towards Adrian's face.  
He ducked. Grabbed me and hugged me. What the hell?

"Rose calm down, i didnt call you someone else's name. Ripsi is my nickname for you. It seemed to fit you." he said gently.

"Adrian im sorry, im just frustrated" i said while feeling guilty.

"its okay little one, let me walk you to your room so you can go rest".

He did just that. He made small talk about my hair and eyes and soon enough we were at my door.

"Thank you Adrian" i said while giving him a hug.

"No need to thank me little Ripsi" he replied while hugging me back. "Sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite" he said while walking away.

Adrian was really nice, full of himself & cocky, but nice. It was nice to be around him.


	9. AN

**Hey guys, i noticed something.**  
**My story has 8 chapters but only 20 reviews, other stories with 4 chapters have like 80 reviews.**  
**I dont think people like my story, so i might just end it.**  
**This story means a lot to me but the lack of feedback i received kinda disappointed me.**  
**If you like my story please leave me a review, if you think i should end it, just tell me.**  
**that is all.**


	10. The fear of being forgotten

_"Mason please stay with me" i cried._  
_"Rose, you let me die" he said weakly._  
_"NO im still here Mason, please just be strong" i yelled._  
_"You killed me" he said while forever shutting his eyes._

I woke up with a scream drenched in sweat. Everything felt so real. Mason never said those words to me but they felt so real.  
I sat up in bed and looked at my phone. Sunday, November 14th. 9:36am. Today was the 6 month mark since the accident and Mason's death.  
6 months, 26 weeks, 182 days, 4382 hours, 262,974 minutes, 15,778,463 seconds without Mason.  
I closed my eyes and let myself fall back into my bed. It seems like yesterday he was with me shining his amazing smile at me.

_BEEP._

I looked down at my phone and saw a text from Lissa.

"If you think you're staying in your room all day, you're wrong. Get ready and meet me in the Cafeteria :)"

She probably figured i was going to be beyond depressed today, she was right.

I put all my strength together and got up. I took a shower, threw some shorts of with a black top, and some of my gladiator sandals.  
I dried my hair and straighted it. I guess i looked decent. I almost forgot but i got my concealer and covered my tattoo, it was becoming a ritual now.

I grabbed my key and walked down to the cafeteria.

"Hey Ripsi" said a way to familiar voice.  
I looked in the direction the voice came from and sure enough it was Adrian with Lissa, Christian, who was Lissa's ever loving boyfriend, not. Eddie and Mia were also with them. Eddie was an amazing guy, he was really dedicated and smart but had a wild side to him, Mia was really sweet although she came off as a bitch, i guess it true that you cant judge a book by its cover. Christian, or Fire crotch as i called him, was Lissa's boyfriend. He loved fire and the color Black apparently. He was sarcastic and rude. Almost a boy version of me.

I glared at Adrian and said "Don't call me that"

Ripsi was the incredibly ridiculous nickname Adrian had given me. I thought it was cute in the moment but now it made me sound like a cat.

"Dont bother her Adrian" said Lissa while shooing him to another seat.

"Hey Rose" said Lissa in her angelic voice with a smile.

"Hey Liss, Hey thing" I said while looking at Adrian.

"Your words injure me little Ripsi" he said while being dramatic.

"You want a black eye Adrian, it would go with your black ego" i said.

He flinched and i sat down.

"So, why is everyone so tense?" i asked.

Someone cleared their throat from behind me.

"Miss Hathaway, im certain that you weren't threatening a student, correct?" A certain Russian god asked along with Tasha, i wanted to puke.

"WHAT? I am HURT Dimitri, i know im impulsive, but to put in danger the life of my fellow classmate is ridiculous" i said dramatically.

"Save it, Rose" said the God.

"So what brings you here" i asked.

"Me and Tasha were wondering if You, Adrian, Lissa, Mia, Christian and Eddie wanted to come to the beach with us" shouted Tasha.

Ugh, she makes me sick. Tasha had a pretty face, but her body, well i dont know what Dimitri saw. She was Short and stout, like a teacup.

"The beach? They'll mistake Tasha for a whale and throw her back in" i whispered to Adrian but clearly Dimitri heard.

"What was that Rose? You wanted to stay here? Lovely" he said.

"NOOOO, she'll be good" shouted Lissa.

Damn her.

"I'll be good" i repeated.

"Don't be a party pooper" said Tasha. Im going to break her nose.

"Me a party pooper? I'm a walking holiday, I am so excited cause we are going to see the crocadillies." i said.

"Crocadillies?" asked Dimitri clearly amused.

"Were going to the ocean not a swamp" said Adrian.

"Damn, i wanted to see you play with them" i pouted.

Adrian looked horrified and everyone else looked amused.

"We'll meet back here in 2 hours, whoever isn't here gets left behind" said Dimitri while looking at me.

"I'll be here comrade" i said smiling. I couldn't miss my chance to drown Tasha.

They walked away which caused the table to bust out in giggles about my Tasha the whale comment.

"Please dont be late Rose, im not leaving you here" pleaded Lissa.

There was no way out of this, just my luck. Fuck. We were going to be in the water. That would for sure wipe the concealer off my wrist.

"Hey Liss, would you happen to have some waterproof concealer?" i asked.

"Does the big bad Rose have a huge sit she wants to cover?" said no one other than Christian.

"No, but you'll have a broken nose along with a big black bad bruise you'll want to cover" i said, and he immediately looked down.

"Yeah i do, c'mon lets go get it " said Lissa while tugging at my arm.

Lissa gave me the concealer and i walked back to my room. It's a good thing i brought a Bikini. It was Aqua with lime green cheetah spots and matching undies. I also had some white shorts i could wear with it and a Aqua tank top.

I put on the bikini and then put my shorts and tank top over it and grabbed some sandals.

Fuck, i had less than 10 minutes to get to the cafeteria.

I quickly applied the concealer to my wrist and threw it in my bag just in case, i flew out of my room and was just in time.

Everyone else was already there, Lissa gave me a dirty look, i flashed a smile her way and soon enough Adrian was making comments.

"You are the sexiest person I've ever met Rose" he said while eyeing me up and down.

"And you are the dirtiest pig I've ever laid eyes on" i replied.

"Your words hurt me Rose" he said while drawing a circle around his heart with his finger.

"Enough, Hathaway, Ivashkov, behave and get in the truck" said Dimitri while giving me "the look".

He looked sexy as hell. He had a black wife beater and blue shorts. His muscles were on display just for me. and every other girl out there. ugh.

While we were getting in, Adrian decided to grab my ass. the nerve of him.

"You must not value your life Ivashkov" i shouted.

He was clearly scared by the look i gave him.

"My hand slipped, i swear Rose" he manage to get out.

"I'm going to break your face" i spat.

"You wouldn't, its too pretty" he said.

Lissa caught on and held me back.

"I should sue you for sexual harassment" i said while eyeing Adrian.

"I should sue you for being so sexy" he said while grinning.

Needless to say it was a long ride consisting of me & Adrian bickering, Dimitri and Tasha laughing, Lissa and Christian going goo-goo for each other and Eddie and Mia in their own world.

When i finally saw something that remotely looked like an ocean i screamed "THE BEACH, Thank you lord" and everyone laughed.

I hopped off as fast as i could and got away from Adrian, one car ride was more than enough with him.

"You hurt me Little Ripsi" he said.

"I will hurt you" i said back while sticking my tongue out.

"Do you two ever stop fighting?" asked Lissa clearly annoyed.

"If he were to leave me alone we wouldn't be fighting" i said blaming it on him.

"If she weren't so beautiful id leave her alone" said Adrian defending himself.

"Young love" sighed Tasha.

"Young love my ass" i yelled.

"Language Rose" said Dimitri. I glared at him and said "Why do i always get the blame for everything? You see him harassing me but no its always my fault"

"Ivashkov leave Rose alone or you wont make it back to the academy" said Dimitri to Adrian, i smiled.

"whatever" replied Adrian while rolling his eyes.

"Okay, go have fun today, keep in a distance where i can see you, i expect you to act like mature adults and be responsible" said Dimitri while walking us to the beach.

Eddie, Christian, Mia, and Adrian ran into the water while me and Lissa stayed behind.

"Are you okay Rose?" asked Lissa.

"Yeah, why wouldn't i be?" i replied.

"You know, Mason.." she said quietly.

"ill be fine, have you told the others?" i whispered.

"No, but i think you should, you know we can trust them, and it might help them understand a little bit better" she said with a smile.

"Adrian knows" i said quickly.

"You told him?" she gasped.

"Yeah, he's not a bad guy, just annoying" i said while giggling.

"That he is" she said while taking my hand and walking me to the others.

"Liss, Rose cmon, the water's amazing!" shouted Eddie.

i jumped in and then Lissa, for the first time in a while i felt happy and relaxed. I felt guilty for feeling this way, knowing Mason was never going to be able to do this again.  
I tried to push my feelings away but they kept getting stronger. I decided to leave the water and take a little walk.

"Where are you going?" asked Lissa.

"Restroom" i lied.

I walked out of their viewing distance and just looked down. It seemed like with every step i took a new memory of Mason would pop into my head. That's when i felt someone grab my arm.

Tasha. What the hell did she want? She dragged me to the opposite side of the beach where no one was and threw me into a little shed.

"Come here and keep your mouth shut" she said.

"Let go of me bitch" i replied trying to squirm out of her hold.

"Shut Up and sit down" she said while pulling my hair.

"What the hell do you want" i asked while trying to keep calm.

"Now i know why you look so familiar, you're Rose Hathaway, the little teenager for killed her friend in a car accident six months ago" she said while grinning.

"I didnt kill him!" i screamed.

"That's not what the newspapers and people at your school said, i heard you had to drop out, stupid little girl. You're a murderer" she said while slapping me.

"What the fuck is your problem?" i shrieked.

"If you tell anyone about this, i promise you will regret it. I will tell everyone at the academy who you really are and what you did, do you understand idiot" she hissed in my ear.

"Get me out of here" i said while trying to catch my breath.

She pulled me outside and pushed me onto the floor and then ran. How did she know about Mason? Why did she care? What the fuck is this shit? I hate her. Calm down Rose, breathe in, breathe out. Fuck. I need my inhaler. I got up, shook the sand off me, and made my way to the car. By the time i got there it was getting really difficult to breathe, I was panting and shaking. I saw the car and jogged to it as fast as i could.

"Rose whats wrong?" i heard Dimitri say.

"Im..fine..I just..need.. my ..inhaler" i said in between breaths.

He snapped into action and came to me. He pulled out my inhaler from his shorts pocket. He had it with him. Maybe he does care about me, or he just doesnt want to film out a dead person report.

I took the inhaler and stuck it in my mouth. Suddenly the world changed colors. It was all clearer now.

"Thank you for having it with you" i said after catching my breath.

"im not going to let anything happen to you Roza" he said.

Did i hear right? He said RozA? instead of RosE?

"C'mon lets get you back to your friends" he said while tugging my arm.

"Rose are you okay?" She asked while pouncing on me.

"I'm fine Liss" i said while hugging her back.

"We were looking for you, but we didnt see you" said Christian.

"I got distracted and wondered to the other side, im sorry" i said lying.

Lissa eyed me knowing i was lying. Damn her for knowing me so well.

"Rose can i talk to you?" she asked me.

"yep" i said while popping the "p"

"We'll be right back you guys" she shouted to Christian and them.

We found a cute tree with a shade and decided to sit.

"Spill" she said while looking into my eyes.

"Tasha" i said quietly.

"What did she say?" she asked, clearly curious.

"She knows about Mason and threaten to tell the school" i said wanting to just cry.

"WHAT?" squealed Lissa.

"Liss, i need to tell Eddie, Christian, & Mia what happend. I want them to hear from me" i said quietly.

"Lets go" said Lissa.

"Go where?" I replied confused.

"To tell them" she said.

She grabbed my arm and had me at the ocean before i could even reply.

"Hey guys come here" said Lissa while motioning them to the shore.

"What happend?" asked Mia.

"Rose needs to tell you something" she said swiftly.

She motioned us to sit by another tree, she checked that no one was listening or close by and then she sat down.

"Look, i have something really personal to tell all of you with the exception of Adrian and Lissa. I want you to hear it from me instead of someone else" i said trying to gain every ounce of courage i had.

"What is it?" said Mia quietly.

"Yeah what happend?" asked Eddie.

"Spill" stated Christian.

I took a deep breathe and Lissa rubbed circle on my back.

"6 Months ago today, i was in a car accident with my best friend Mason. He was drunk and racing some of his friends. I begged him to pull over but he wouldn't listen. A few minutes into the race a car hit us from the front and then another from the back. I was conscious but in a lot of pain, i looked over and Mason looked horrible. His eyes were closed and he was covered in blood i closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "there was just so much blood, i undid my seat belt and broke a window to get to him. he was choking on his own blood. He told me he loved me and then just died. A woke up in a hospital lost and confused. My nurse told me what happend and i started hyperventilating. They tranquilized me. 2 weeks after that my mom had therapist & physiatrist talk to me about what happend. I would just sit there, i didn't talk, i didn't move.  
I went back to school and everyone was calling me a murderer. They said i killed him, that it was my fault. I decided to not go back and instead i was home schooled. I wouldn't sleep or eat for the longest time. It was really killing me. My mom decided she had enough of me so she shipped me to this academy. Even now i still have nightmares. I wake up screaming and crying. I feel like it was all my fault. Like i should have done something. No one at the academy knows. i wanted y'all to hear it from me and not anyone else.  
I didnt kill him" i said and then started to cry.

"oh my god Rose, im so sorry" said Mia while leaning in to hug me.

"Rose..i had no idea, im sorry" said Christian.

"You didnt kill him Rose, he obviously loved you, he wouldn't want you feeling like this" said Eddie while holding my hand.

"Thanks guys, i just need you to know all this from me and not someone else, i trust you all enough to tell you, and i hope none of this gets out" i said quietly.

"Whats going on here?" Said Tasha while walking up to us with Dimitri.

I quickly tried to dry my tears without them noticing and Adrian sat beside me and hugged me while i did it.

"I repeat, whats going on here?" Dimitri said this time.

"We were just telling scary stories" said Christian. Nice save.

"Very well, Rose, Tasha said you were being rude to her, what is the meaning on that?" Said Dimitri. I could tell that he didnt want to ask me, she must have guilted him into it. that fucking bitch.

"What are you talking about?" i said clearly outraged.

"Rose, I just love you so much, like a daughter even, and when you called me a bitch, it really hurt" she said while whimpering.

"Thats because you are a bitch" i said while standing up and going face to face with her.

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	11. Giving you up

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or the characters, they belong to Richelle Mead.**

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Tasha had black hair and wintry blue eyes, she was round and had a big scar across the left side of her face.  
Just looking at her made me want to lose my mind. She was manipulative and shady. Every Time i caught a glimpse of her my mind wanted to go into rage mode.  
I tried to steady out my breathing and control all the emotions rushing towards me. It felt like i was being consumed by darkness.  
A darkness that made my bones chill and my mind lose all sanity. Keeping love buried was a lot like keeping anger pent up, I'd learned. It just ate you up inside until you wanted to scream or kick something.  
I started having these "episodes" as my mother called them a few weeks after the accident.  
The doctor said it was because of how vulnerable i felt by not being able to save Mason. He explained that all my emotions collided and formed all this anger.  
An anger i couldn't control no matter how hard i tried. The second it hit me i just started seeing red. I felt like i was slowly fading out of my body and letting someone else take over, someone with no self control and that wanted to do damage. Damage to anyone in sight and near by.

"You see Dimka! She had absolutely no respect for other people" cried Tasha while clinging to Dimitri's arm.

Dimitri looked at me and observed me. I'm sure he could tell something wasn't right by the way his eyes laid on me. The way Tasha looked at him filled me with disgust, it was so full of lust. She didn't understand what it was like to be filled with a love so strong that it made your chest ache,a love you could only feel and not express.  
I had finally come to the conclusion that i liked Dimitri even though he couldnt stand me. The way he worried about me and made sure i was okay filled my whole body with butterflies. It made me feel cared for and appreciated, something i hadn't felt in a long time.

Suddenly Dimitri's facial expression changed, it was filled with anger.

"You know what really upsets me Rose? That you have the potential to be such an amazing person, but you choose not too. You're stubborn and childish. You're going to be 18 pretty soon and your parents wont be able to get you out of everything. Once you experience the real world you're going to be in for a shock, no one is going to deal with your bad attitude and sarcastic replies. Like I've told you before it time to grow up" he said sternly.

Every single word hit me like a bullet. It was as if part of me was being torn silently and slowly. Was i really what he described? How could i ever think someone like him, a grown man with an amazing reputation would ever be interested in me, an annoying child.

What came next, i would never, in a billion years expected.

Lissa walked over to Dimitri and punched him right in the cheek with all the strength she could muster. I was well aware this caught everyone by surprise.  
Lissa was such a calm spirit. Her blonde curls layed below her shoulders and her green eyes shined with all the love in the world for people.

Tasha had a horrified look on her face as she watched Lissa's arm fling out to Dimitri's face and make contact with his right cheek.

Dimitri took the blow and looked down at Lissa, her eyes were filled with tears and anger.

"Don't you EVER talk about her like that, you dont know the first thing about her, you dont know what she's been through" she growled to him.

Christian ran to Lissa and wrapped his arms around her trying to calm her down. She was shaking, i have never seen her so upset.

"You're out of line Belikov" shouted Adrian.

"I am out of line? You're the one hanging around these young girls all the damn time" said Dimitri while trying to regain his composure.

"Young girls? Young girls? Sure, young and old at the same time. They've barely seen anything in life yet they've already seen too much. One's marked with life and the other is marked with death, but they're the young ones you're worried about? Worry about yourself, worry about me, we're the young ones" said Adrian, face calm and collected.

I immediately understand what he meant by us marked with life & death. He was referring to the accidents. Lissa was able to live again, she accepted the death of her family thus marking her with life.

But me? Mason lingered in my mind every second of the day, i blamed myself for his death, i regret everything about that day, i will never be able to overcome it, thus marking me with death.

Adrian could be such an ignorant prick, but he sounded so wise while saying that. It's like he could read me & Lissa like a book.

Dimitri's face was pale and unguarded. He seemed confused and lost about Adrian's statement.

Lissa looked just as shock but i knew she understood. She understood our roles and didnt have to question who was which.

"What are you talking about Ivashkov?" asked Dimitri, still white as a sheet.

"Figure it out" was all Adrian replied while walking over to Eddie & Mia, who apparently couldnt believe what was happening.

And me? I was just standing there. My face was still and my heart was pounding to a rhythm i couldnt make out. The way everything was happening left me in a state of shock. i waited for my body to start reacting again. There's nothing worse than waiting and not knowing what'll happen to you. Your own imagination can be crueler than any captor.

As i analyzed the situation, i started laughing. A full blown out laugh. One by one the gang turned to look at me like i had gone crazy. I made my way in front of Dimitri & said

"When have my parents ever been there for me to start off with? That's exactly why im at the Academy, because they didnt want to deal with me & my "episodes", I've seen the real world, I've also lived it. I know what im in for, im going to have to deal with selfish bastards like you who couldnt give a fuck about the person standing in front of them if they're lives depended on it. In order for you to understand you'd have to come into my mind, feel my pain & look at shit through my eyes,  
i bet you wouldn't last a day. As far as people dealing with me, dont worry, they might not have too" i said bitterly with as much venom as i could.

I think part of the reason my parents sent me here was because they knew i was eventually going to kill myself. The depression and side effects we're going to be too much one day and i was going to end it. If i was at the Academy while it happend they wouldn't have to deal with it. Sometimes i really felt like ending it. It would be the easier way out, but that wouldn't be very Rose Hathaway. I managed to fight the feelings off but its days like these where i wonder why i even wonder.

"and you" i said while pointing to Tasha, " that scar on your face, did you piss someone off like you are doing to me? I'll give you another one to match, you stupid bitch" i said while shoving her back.

Dimitri grabbed me & pulled me close to him, too close, close enough for all those feelings i have for him to come hurdling down at me. Those eyes. Those big brown eyes hypnotized me every time.

"Rose, enough, it's okay" he said while hugging me. That's right. Hugging me. Maybe he regretted saying what he did.

"Christian take your aunt and the rest of the kids back to the truck, ill be there in a second, i need to have a word with Miss Hathaway" he said while motioning them to the truck and handing Christian the keys.

One by one, the left, Lissa gave me a look asking me if i was okay, i nodded and she was on her way.

"What the hell do you want? Shouldnt you be comforting Tasha?" i said while turning my back to him.

"I'm your mentor not hers" he said simply.

"I dont give a damn" i said.

"Rose im sorry, I know you probably feel like im taking Tasha's side but -" i cut him off.

"I probably feel? You ARE, you didnt let me say one fucking word without accusing me of something i didnt do Dimitri, You act like you know me inside and out but you dont, you dont know the first thing about me, you know that im rude and impulsive and im sarcastic and that i dont listen and that im aggressive, but that's it, you just see all the bad things in me, they're might not be much good, but there's some and you dont see it, so maybe you should reconsider being my mentor. Talk to Kirova and tell her you dont want to deal with me anymore. I'll be assigned a new mentor and you'll go on about your business" i said while blinking back tears.

"NO" he growled.

He grabbed me by the waist and turned me to face him.

"Let me in Rose, i cant know if you dont let me. Every Time we mention something about your home life you freak out and change the conversation, im not going to judge you Rose.  
you should know that." he said gently while looking into my eyes.

I knew he meant every word, but i wasn't ready for him to know everything yet. If Tasha had her way he'd probably hear about it when we got back to the Academy.

"It's not that easy Dimitri, if i cant trust you why would i tell you about my life? You dont even care about me" i said. Saying those words hurt me. I trusted Dimitri more than i trusted anyone else & that scared me.

"You really think that?" he said obviously hurt.

"What?" i asked.

"That i dont care? Rose, you have no idea how much i care about you. I have absolute faith in you. You're strong, so so strong and that's why i love you."

my heart stopped right then & there.

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	12. See you in another life

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or the characters, they belong to Richelle Mead.**

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"You love me?" i gasped.

I could feel myself getting pale and my knees about to go out.

"Of Course i do Rose, You're my student, i want the best for you" he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Clearly, i should have been that coming but i some how convinced myself he really loved me. It's like being on the worlds biggest roller coaster and having the time of your life, and then something goes wrong, All that happiness flashes before your eyes, you blink, and its gone. Suddenly you're falling into a pit of pain and remorse. I was his student and nothing else. I was 17 and he was 24. Who was i trying to fool?

"Rose?" he asked while touching my shoulder gently.

I guess my mind got the better of me and i got lost in my thoughts.

"What?" I asked bitterly.

"Are you okay? You look shaken up" he said while reaching his hand touching my cheek.

I flinched and threw myself back.

"I'm fine" i replied.

Those words had become a way of life for me. I so desperately wanted to be fine.

"Whats with you Rose? One moment you're fine, the next you're cold, its like you cant make your mind up on how you feel" he said while studying my face.

"You wouldn't understand" i replied.

"Maybe i wouldn't, but we wont know until you tell me. Rose, when you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them its just as hard as what you're going through" he said while stroking my hair.

His words scared me, i couldnt imagine someone living like i had for the last 6 months. No one deserved that, i wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. I hated how right he was so i did the only thing i could and walked away.

I walked towards the truck where everyone else was waiting for us. I have no clue how long we took and i honestly didnt care. I opened the door and sat down. I pulled my legs to my chest and let my head fall in between them. Life use to be so easy. The only thing i had to worry about was homework. I guess this just goes to show how dramatically your life could change because of one mistake. One mistake was more than enough to take over.

Shortly after Lissa, Eddie, Mia, Adrian, and Christian joined me and took their seats. Tasha came next and then Dimitri.

No one spoke the whole way back to the Academy, i didnt look up once. I felt someone rub circles on my back and immediately knew it was Lissa's graceful touch.

The truck came to a sudden stop followed by a pop and some gasp. We blew a fucking tire. Just my fucking luck. I just wanted to arrive at the Academy and throw myself on my bed. That didnt look like it was happening any time soon.

Dimitri grunted, looked back to check if everyone was okay, opened his door and went to go check on the damage. He came back a few minutes later confirming that we did indeed blow a tire.

"The tire is in pieces and we dont have a spare, they're is a hotel at walking distance from here, I'll call Alberta first thing in the morning and explain what happend" he said while grabbing his bags and the keys.

The rest of us followed his lead by grabbing our bags and hopping off the truck. We were surrounded by trees and darkness. It was awkwardly relaxing, well to me. Lissa was probably going out of her mind with fear, but she had Christian. My god, did he love her. He wouldn't let anything ever happen to her. I guess that was the only reason i tolerated him.

Lissa tugged at my arm and lead me to where the others were walking.

This night was so much like the night of the accident. Dark and cold, that type of darkness you could get lost in and feel nothing but peace. As we kept walking Adrian's and Eddie's conversation about who had the better hair faded out and was replaced by a crashing sound.

I saw something forming in front of me. I couldnt make out what it was until i saw those piercing blue eyes. Mason. It was Mason, and for the briefest instant, it almost felt like we were together again.

I let out a strangled scream and dropped to the ground.

Before i could realize what was happening i opened my eyes and i saw Dimitri hoovering above me, calling my name and Lissa freaking out beside him.

"Rose are you okay? What the hell happend?" he demanded.

"I dont know, something scared me" i said hoping he would believe me.

"I know, but what was it?" The concern in his voice was evident. I had really scared him.

"Dimkaaaa, make her get up, im freezing" cried Tasha.

"Right now is not the time Tasha" he growled at her making sure to never take his eyes off me.

Lissa extended her hand out to help me up, i took it and Dimitri grabbed my waist and pulled me up.

"Are you sure you're okay Rose? That scream sounded like you were being attacked" said Christian clearly concerned.

"I'm sorry, i dont know what came over me " i said while feeling guilty for worrying them.

"It wasn't your fault, something clearly shook you up" said Eddie while giving me a nod.

"You took quite a fall, does anything hurt?" asked Mia while inspecting my head.

"No it was nothing, lets get going before it gets darker" i said while walking forward.

"I dont think it can get any darker little Ripsi" said Adrian while grinning.

"it can always get darker" i said soft enough for only my ears to hear.

On the way to the hotel, Dimitri didnt take his eyes off me. He knew something was wrong. If looks could kill..

After 10 minutes of walking we finally arrived at the hotel and stood outside for a second to try and figure out the sleeping arrangements.

There was me, Dimitri, Lissa, Eddie, Mia, Adrian, Christian, and Tasha.

We could fit 2 people in each room, so that left us with 8 people and 4 rooms.

"Each room should have an adult, or someone who knows how to defend themselves. The goal is to have everyone protected if god forbid, something went wrong" said Dimitri while studying us.

"I call dibs on Lissa" shouted Christian.

"Excellent, i was just about to put you with her, will you two be okay?" he asked them, Lissa turned to me as if asking for approval, i nodded & they nodded to Dimitri.

"Eddie, how about you room with Adrian?" Asked Dimitri.

"YESSSS, rematch on the xbox" shouted Eddie.

Well they were taken care of.

"Dimkaaaaa, ill sleep with you" said Tasha while rubbing her slimy hands all over his chest. Barf.

"That would leave Rose and Mia together, Rose is not okay, and i dont think Mia can take on anyone" he said with a slight smile.

Mia blushed but nodded.

Clearly me and Tasha couldnt share a room together without one of us dead and the other in jail, so that left her with Mia and me with Dimitri. Fuck.

"Mia, you will be with Tasha, and Rose you will stay with me" he said while shooing us in.

Damn him, damn him, damn him, damn him.

Once the arrangements were made Dimitri went and paid for our rooms and motioned us in. He gave each pair their key and walked them to their room.

We said our good nights and headed to our room.

Dimitri held the door open and let me inside.

The room was small and cozy with 2 twin beds and a bathroom.

"Do you want to shower first?" he asked while setting his things down.

"No you go ahead" i replied.

He nodded and disappeared into the little room. I sat down on my bed and sighed. I knew i wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight. I had nightmares about Mason just about every night, the thought alone of waking up screaming in the same room as Dimitri was mortifying enough to keep me wide awake.

I turned on the TV because the silence was annoying me and just searched through the channels. I heard the shower turnoff and i left it on the current channel and sat up.

A few minutes later, the Russian god came out. He was wearing blacks shorts and a white shirt. The way the water dripped off his face made me bite my lip. He was so beautiful, so fresh and renewed after his shower with his curly brown hair around his face. He looked at me and smiled and simply said "Your turn"

I got up, grabbed my bag and headed for the shower.

I sat my bag down on the counter and started the shower.

I took off my clothes and walked into the shower, i let the warm water hit my body, i felt my back hit the wall and i slid myself down to the floor.  
How was i going to handle all this without losing my mind? I was in love with my mentor, who was in love with Tasha. Even if he didnt love Tasha why would he want to be with me? I had nothing to offer. My god, rejection like this hurts. I got up and quickly ran the shampoo through my hair, turned off the shower and changed.

I walked up to the mirror and studied myself. I had to stop this. This is MY life, i need to regain control, but how?

"Find a way bitch" i said to myself. Now THAT was Rose Hathaway.

Either i was going to find a way, or i was going to make one.

I changed into my pink top and black shorts and walked out to the door.

There sat little Dimitri on his bed with one of his cowboy books. He looked up to me and said

"are you feeling better?"

"Much" i replied while getting into my bed.

I layed back in my bed and closed my eyes.

"is it a guy?" was the question that made my eyes almost bulge out of my head.

"ww..what?" i stuttered.

"The reason you're like this, did a guy break your heart?" he said while laying in bed with his eyes closed.

"in a way" i said while closing my eyes.

"They're not worth it Rose, if they couldnt see the amazing person you are and your beauty, because you are so, so beautiful, so beautiful that it hurts me sometimes" that last bit i barely managed to make out, hopefully i had heard right.

"Thank you" i whispered.

We lay silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking. That is the great paradox.

I saw Dimitri's chest reach a steady rhythm indicating he had fallen asleep, and i let myself wander off to my dream world as well.

_I was with Mason in a garden, a big beautiful garden. His eyes were the spotlights, and his voice was the perfect song. He looked at me with such love and care._

_"I miss you Mason" i said gently._

_He looked at me and just stared. A stare that i could melt under. Suddenly he started to speak._

_"Let go of the hate. Forget the pain, after all has it helped you?" he asked._

_"No" was my instant answer._

_"It's twisted you into someone you dont recognize anymore, and you dont want to keep it that way do you?"_

_"I don't want to lose you." my voice almost a whisper._

_Seeing his haggard expression, i took his hand and squeezed it, then reluctantly let it go. i could feel the tears but fought them back._

_"But you don't want to keep me, either, do you?" he asked._

_To that, i had no response._

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	13. Ignite the light

**Here's a small chapter (: hope you like. Please review :D**

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or the characters, they belong to Richelle Mead.**

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Heres to the moments where we didn't think about right and wrong, where we just lived,  
_crossed our fingers, and hoped for the best._

I woke up, no screams, no pacing heart, no terror. Just peace. Mason wanted me to be okay, he wanted me to stop seeing myself as this horrible person. That was so like Mason. He always wanted the best for me, even in death. It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.

I looked at the other bed and saw Dimitri sleeping. At that moment he wasn't my mentor, my superior, my boss. He was my equivalent. I got up and tiptoed to the drawer where his phone was sitting and glanced at the time. 6:23am.  
We'd probably be waking up around 7am/7:30am so Dimitri could call Alberta and let her know what happend.

I walked back to my bed and got in. I turned on my side so i was facing Dimitri. There was something just so incredible about him.  
Sometimes you meet someone and before you know their name, before you know where they're from, you know that sometime in the future, this person is going to mean something to you.  
That's what i felt for Dimitri the second i saw him. Even though the prick broke my phone, there was something about him that stood out to me.  
I lay there upon my blankets, and in the still of the darkness, I picture him and wonder how he is and what he's dreaming of right now, and wishing whatever it is, I could be a part of it. And in a matter of seconds, just as quickly as the thought came, the silence breaks as he woke up.

"Good morning Rose" he said while rubbing his eyes.

"Morning comrade" i said flashing a smile.

"Have you been awake long?" he asked while untangling himself from the sheets and sitting up.

"Not really, 30 minutes tops" i said following his lead and sitting up.

He got up and went to the drawer where his phone was sitting and picked it up.

"Its barely 7am Rose, i told the others they could sleep till 9"

"Lucky bastards" i said.

"Language Rose" he said with a smile.

"Excuse me, im sorry, im really such a lady" i said grinning

He chuckled and i watched as the rumbles of his laugh left his chest and exited his mouth. It was quite interesting.

"Well miss lady, how about we get ready and go get some breakfast, hopefully by the time we get back the others will be up and ready" he said while walking into the bathroom.

"Sounds perfect" i sang.

I made my bed and picked up the pillows that i dropped in my sleep and by the time i was done Dimitri was out and waiting for me to get into the shower.  
I rushed in and scrubbed fast and hard leaving red marks around my body, i threw the shampoo on my hair and rinsed it out. 5 minute shower, a personal best. I turned off the shower and threw on some shorts and a tank top and ran a brush through my hair and then put it up in a ponytail. I opened the door and Dimitri turned to me and smiled. I'm meltingggggggg i though to myself.

I grabbed my wallet and stuffed it into my pocket and was out the door.

We decided to go to a little restaurant right next to our Hotel called ihop.

We went inside and were lead to a table buy a waitress who was clearly flirting with Dimitri. Bitch.

"Can i help you with anything?" she asked looking at Dimitri and batting her fake eyelashes.

"Not at the moment, thank you" Dimitri said politely while she handed us the menus.

"Did you get some rest?" he asked out of the blue.

"yeah i did actually, i think i was exhausted" i replied.

he nodded and looked down at the menu.

"I miss my home" i blurted out for some unknown reason.

He looked up and gave me a gentle look, and asked "What do you miss about it?"

I sighed and said "How everything use to be, go back in time to when i was 13 and life was perfect. Lissa still lived close by. We had a basement filled with junk, old toys,  
clothes, furniture, everything you could imagine. That place was home to us. In that basement we were exactly who we wanted to be. Rockstars and poets, artists and designers.  
That basement was our haven because when we walked up those stairs we were just teenage kids with dreams that were just too big." i said with a smile thanks to the beautiful memories me and Lissa shared in that basement.

"Think of this, this new environment and home as that basement, you can be anything you want, no dream is too big in the real world" he said with a caring smile.

"So are you saying that if i got up right now and started singing "I'm too sexy" i would be accepted and be the next pop sensation?" i said holding back a smile.

"Knowing you, definitely" he said with a laugh.

"Lets test that theory" i said while pretending to get up.

He grabbed my hand and sat me down "Oh god, please dont" he said looking horrified.

"I was kidding comrade" i said while laughing.

He laughed and looked at me and said "I never know with you, You're capable of anything"

"I wouldn't have it any other way" i said.

The waitress came back with a big smile and asked to take our orders.

"I'll have the t-bone steak and eggs and some Orange Juice" he said and she smiled.

"ill have the New York Cheesecake Pancakes and a " i said with a bitter smile.

"Coming right up" she said while walking away.

"You're going to have a heart attack with all that sugar Rose" he said while chuckling.

"Are you questioning my breakfast?" i gasped "Who eats meat in the morning" i said while laughing.

"Its a great way to get your energy up actually" he said sounding all doctor like.

"Whatever floats your boat comrade" i said while giggling.

"About yesterday Rose" oh fuck. I cut him off.

"it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then." i said seriously.

"So who are you now?" he asked.

"I am Rose, the one who's having breakfast with Dimitri and enjoying arguing with him" i said while cracking a smile.

"I like this Rose" was all he said with a faint smile.


	14. 99 times

_There's a reason why people describe love as being "head over heels." You feel like you're completely turned upside down. There's the physical stuff - your cheeks getting hot, the flutters in your stomach._  
_And then there's the mental madness - you feel like you're losing your mind because all you can think about is the way he smells, how good it feels when he puts his arms around you, or the cute little dimple he gets when he smiles. When you're with him, there's no other place you'd rather be; when you're not, you can barely wait until you see him again._  
_Love is a total high - better than eating chocolate donut._

There was a time in my life where i thought i was never going to get over Mason. I felt bad for even remotely liking a guy because i knew he loved me and i never felt the same for him. I felt like i was betraying him even after his death.  
I wasn't, and i was aware of it, but i think i just needed to feel something other than loneliness, so i made myself feel guilty in order to not let him go. Because he's been a major part in my life, of course I'm going to miss him.

It's perfectly normal. It's like getting a tooth pulled out, after the dentist pulls it out you're relived. But how many times does your tongue run over itself over the spot where the tooth once was? probably one hundred times a day. just because it wasn't hurting you doesn't mean you didn't notice it.  
It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It's going to take a while, but it takes time. should you have kept that tooth? No, because it was causing you pain. Pulling the tooth was the right decision, but it is going to hurt.

"So tell me about your family" he asked while eating his steak.

"There's not much to tell really, i have a mom and only my mom, she is always out of town and basically a workaholic. Me and my mom never really got along, she never accepted how I was or how I acted and I guess that just made me want to rebel even more. I dont hate her, i just resent her for some of the things she did and the choices she made. Lissa's parents basically raised me, my mom would send me off to her house days at a time and just leave me there. Lissa's mom would take me to school,  
dress me, feed me, play with me, help me, and tuck me in. She was my mom, when her and her husband died i felt like a lost my parents, and when they sent Lissa away, i basically lost my sister, i know my parents cared about me but i dont think they understood how i felt, i had the 3 most important people in my life taken away from me, i was on my own from then on. After that my life consisted of boys, booze and skipping school. I think i secretly did it just because i could, because i knew my mom had no idea. I was just so happy to be doing something I knew my mom would die if she knew where I was and who i was with" i said while looking back on the last few years of my life.

"So your mom had no idea about the stuff you were doing?" he asked with shock written all over his face.

"Nopee, the only time she knew was when the school called her and told her i hit someone or i called someone a bad name and even then she would just send me a text or email and tell me how disappointed she was and that i should behave, she'd leave on business trips for weeks at a time and leave me home alone, she left me her credit cards and a few numbers for emergencies, i basically raised myself. Giving me what I wanted was her way of making up for leaving me." i replied while eating a strawberry from my pancake.

"Hearing all that gives me this overwhelming need to protect you" he said with such tender eyes

"No need comrade, i learned how to do that a long time ago. I guess it must sound horrible to you, but to me that is, was my life. It was an everyday thing and i just had to deal. Complaining wasn't going to get me anywhere, enough about me, tell me about your family" i said while a smile.

"Well my mothers name is Olena, and her mothers name is Yeva, i have 3 sisters, Sonya, Karolina, and Victoria. Sonya has a son name Paul and a daughter named Zoya. They live in Siberia in Russia which is where im from, my family has always been very close and they come first to me. I miss them a lot but i know they are doing well" he said while beaming.

"And your dad?" i asked shyly.

"He left when i was 13, he use to abuse my mother" he said while rage in his eyes.

I gasped and said "Please tell me you kicked his ass"

He smiled and said "Yes, i did. I never saw him again after that"

"You didnt need him anyways, i personally think that's the lowest a man can stoop too, putting your hands on a female should never be an option" i said.

"I agree completely" he said with a smile.

He looked down at his watch and said "it's 8:45am, we should start heading back"

He waved the waitress over and payed and refused to let me cover half of it, such a macho man. ugh. We walked back to the Hotel into our room and he decided to call Alberta.

I threw myself on the couch while he grabbed his cellphone and dialed Alberta's number.

"Hi Alberta, its Dimitri" he said.

"We are at a hotel about an hour away from the Academy, the truck blew out 2 tires on our way back"

"Yes, i agree, I'll go talk to the desk clerk and arrange to have us stay another night"

"Thank you Alberta, ill see you tomorrow" he said before hanging up.

"Looks like we're staying another night, Alberta will send someone for us tomorrow afternoon"

I beamed and headed for the door.

He raised an eyebrow and said "Where do you think you're going?"

"Shopping, i need clothes" i said sternly.

"Absolutely not" he said while moving me from the door.

My jaw dropped, "Why?" i demanded.

"Do you really expect me to let you leave, alone, in a city you've never been before to go shopping?" he asked.

"Yup" i said popping the "p".

"No" he said.

"Ugh, i cant do anything. Rose do this, Rose dont do that, blah blah blah" i said irritated.

"Well if you're going to act like a child, im going to treat you like one" he said annoyed.

I narrowed my eyes at him and said "I. AM. NOT. A. CHILD" while stomping my feet.

"Could've fooled me" he said clearly not phased.

Well since he said i acted like a child, i might as well live to his expectation right?

I stomped off and climbed onto the bed an began shouting "I am not a child" as loud as i could while jumping up and down.

His eyes widened in horror and he said "Rose, get down from there this minute"

I stuck my tounge out at him and shouted "NO"

He began rubbing his temples looking redder than something really red. He was going to have a wicked headache with my screams and ruckus.

"Rose you have till the count of 3 to get off" he said sternly.

I flipped him off.

"1"

I kept screaming, i wasn't giving in, children dont do that.

"2"

"IM NOT A CHILDDDDDDD"

"3" he shouted.

_Oh shit._

A very tall, very pissed off Russian was charging towards me.

He tackled me off the bed and grabbed my mouth keeping it shut.

"God forbid i ever find out what i did to deserve this" he said while looking up to the ceiling.

I bite him.

"STRANGER DANGERRRRR" i shouted while getting out from under him and running to the door.

He immediately reacted and grabbed my ankle. I landed with a loud thump on the floor.

"Rose, you're seventeen, not four" he said while pulling me to him by my ankle.

I sat up and crossed my legs Indian style while crossing my arms on my chest.

"You're mean" i spat.

"Imagine if i was" he said.

I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled.

"im surprised no one has came in here and kicked us out" he said while looking at the door.

I sat there gazing at his eyes, his gorgeous face, his unique features and fought the urge to just say "When I'm around you, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's like I want to run away as fast as I can because you radiate something great, something that's sometimes too powerful to stand. You're just that beautiful."

When I think about love, I think about when I was little and I automatically knew what I wanted. Love should come to you just like that. Like your favorite color comes to you, or how a smile comes across your face.

He got up and extended his hand to help me up, "c'mon, lets take you shopping" he said with a smile.

I gasped "really?"

"Yes, stay here while i go let the others know whats going on, will you be okay?"

i nod and he leaves the room.

How did everything become so right? How was it possible that i could feel so amazing in military school?

I mean, they were right, I got into this for all the wrong reasons. But I lucked out, because now that I'm here, I can't imagine being anywhere else

I brush my hair and apply my lip gloss, i go into the restroom and start covering my tattoo. That reminds me, i need more cover up.

I grab my bag and make sure my credit card and inhaler are in there and sit on the couch while i wait for Dimitri to return.

A second later he walks in the door and says "Lets go, they want to sleep in"

As we walked down the street to the mall, we laughed, we talked, we smiled, it felt so right.

We walked into the mall and Dimitri looked at me and said "So where to?"

I shrugged and decided to go to Hollister.

Dimitri's face was hilarious, he looked horrified. I'm guessing he's never been there.

"Why is it so dark?" he asked me while looking around.

I shrugged and said "its cool"

He shook his head and mumbled something in Russian.

As i was looking around, i said "You should teach me some Russian curse words"

"Absolutely not Rose" he said.

"Why? I would never get in trouble again from calling Stan a cunt" i said innocently.

He shook his head in disappointment and said "Language Rose"

I picked some shorts, shirts and some undergarments while Dimitri was looking in the guy section.

I paid for my clothes and went to get Dimitri. He looked amused by the type of people that were walking in. Well he is from Russia, it was probably like Iceland on crack there. Instead of shorts they wore sheep skin or something like that im sure. I laughed at the thought.

"Whats so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing, just thinking"

We walked through the mall in silence, admiring the people around us. We walked into a bookstore, and he parted from my side to go look at the Western section.

I wish I could watch a movie or listen to a song without thinking about him. Walking through the bookstore has became a chore, because each title, each cover, each beautiful word sent images of him into my mind.  
I can't even close my eyes without him being there, but imagining him just isn't enough. I want him to be by my side so that each time I'm reminded of him, I can look over my shoulder and be reminded all over again.

_I know we haven't said enough, but I know I've never loved this much._


	15. Fucking perfect

_One day it all catches up with you.  
Every ended relationship, every tear shed, every broken heart.  
You pick up the pieces, you brush them off and you put them back together.  
Only each time you need a little more glue.__glue. Then, just like that, glue's not enough anymore. The cracks, the holes, the shattered dreams - they're a part of you. Try as you might, you can't fix what's been broken; you can't mend what's been torn. You're down trodden, pathetic, unable to go on..or so you think. Then he walks into your life with a smile, a whisper and a kiss, you're no longer broken. Your world of gray becomes a little brighter, a little more colorful. The more time you spend with him, the more complete your once fragile, shattered heart becomes. Until one morning you wake up and just like that, you're in love and the grass is greener and the sky is bluer and the past..is the past. You are no longer consumed with regret, remorse or pain. Yet in the back of your mind, in the depths of your heart, one thing lingers.. of what you're risking, fear of going back, fear of being broken again, his time forever. Then he smiles and says those three words you've been longing to hear and nothing else matters._

It happened right then. He looked at me, and it was the thing I'd been waiting for but didn't know it. I don't mean anything corny like I fell in love or even into a crush or anything like that. It was more a feeling like when I'd get picked first for volleyball or find one of those stupid school candy grams in my locker. It was knowing someone else thought about me for more than one second, maybe even thought about me when I wasn't there.

"Roza, are you okay?" he asked with concern covering his face.

"Whats that?" i asked.

"Whats what Rose?" he asked coming closer to me and putting his hand on my cheek.

"Roza" i whispered.

He beamed and smiled "It means Rose, it's your name in Russian" he said proudly.

"It's beautiful" i said.

"It fits you" he said with a smile.

We picked up some more things including my concealer and walked back to the hotel and knocked on Lissa's door.

"ROSE" she yelped as she tackled me into a hug.

"Cant..breathe..Lis" i managed to get out.

She let go and blushed.

"DIMKAAAAAAAAAAAA" squealed Tasha who came charging at Dimitri from behind, with Mia following her looking annoyed.

"Hey guys" said Mia.

"Have fun with the hyena?" i quietly asked Mia and she giggled.

"She snores like a cow" she said looking irritated.

"It's official, she belongs in a zoo" i said giggling.

"Enough, lets head to the lobby and kill some time" said Dimitri while glaring at me and Mia.

We headed down to the lobby and lucky for us they had a pool and an arcade. Maybe i wont die of boredom.

"Rose, wait up" called Lissa behind me, trying to catch up.

"You're going to bust a vessel Lis" i said while laughing.

"Come here" she said while grabbing my hand and leading me to an empty corner.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" i asked confused.

"What happend yesterday, you saw him didnt you?" she said with fear in her eyes.

"yeah" i said quietly.

"I was so scared for you Rose, you should have seen your face, you were terrified" she said while trying to choke back tears.

"i was, but I'll be fine Lissa" i said trying to calm her down.

"Why dont you tell him? she whispered.

"Tell who?"

"Dimitri" she said while looking away.

My mouth dropped open "NO, NO, NO, it's none of his business" i said while panicking.

"He can help you Rose" she said.

"NO, he cant, he'd probably ask for another student after hearing what happened" i said trying to knock some sense into her.

"Why would he do that?" she shrieked.

"Why would he want a student whose a murderer Lissa? He would be ashamed of teaching me, he would have me kicked out of the school" i shouted blinking back tears.

"Rose you're not a murderer, dont ever say that! It was a car accident, you tried to help him"

"Exactly, i tried, i didnt save him though, i let him die, i could have done more" i said with tears spilling out of my eyes.

"Rose you have to understand -"

"NO, YOU have to understand Lissa, you weren't there, you dont know how i feel, you dont know anything about that night, you dont know how it feels to carry this big bag of guilt every fucking day of your life, you dont know what i see when i wake up from those fucking nightmares every night of my life, you dont know what it's like to be so alone" i said hysterically.

"I lost my family Rose" she said while crying.

"But you had people who helped you, my mom shipped me off here because she thought I was going to lose my mind one day and kill myself Lissa! Do you know how that feels? I cant even begin to fucking explain it, Mason was my rock, the person i could trust, and i killed him. I'm never going to forgive myself for that" i screamed.

People were looking at us, they couldnt hear but im sure they could assume we we're arguing since both of us were crying. God i hated this feeling.

"We could help you if you let us" she said while trying to grab my hand.

I pulled away and said "Don't bother" before walking away. I could hear Lissa's cry getting louder but i knew Christian would be able to calm her down.

I walked to the side of the pool and just sat there looking at everyone around me. They were all so alive, so real, and i wasn't.

I miss those moments. It's those moments when you drive around in a car full of friends around a town too small for you. You gasp for breath between laughs. It's those moments where you get high off just breathing in so deep, you feel your lung starting to get cold. For a second, that one split second, you don't care at all. You don't care about school, about parents or about money, about rules, or broken hearts. Who you care about are the kids sitting next to you. Cause it's all we really need isn't it?  
Those kids next to you, the ones who make you feel invincible even at your weakest points.

But they were gone. He was gone. That was the thing; you never got used to it. You never got used to the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's okay,and you think you've accepted it, someone points it out to you, and it hits you all over again, and it's just as shocking as the first time.


	16. Haunted

**Chapter 16 is here :) **  
**I have a question for y'all, would you like to see some supernatural things or just keep it all human?**  
**Is there anything you want to happen with certain people? **  
**Any ideas at all? Let me know! **  
**REVIEW((:**

* * *

Abe POV:

_Ring, Ring, Ring_

"Abe Mazur speaking"

I heard some muffled cries on the other side of the phone and I immediately knew who it was.

"Janine, what's wrong?" I asked frantically.

"I just miss Rose so much" she cried.

Ah Rosemarie, my daughter. She of course didn't know that, Janine and I decided that it would be best if I wasn't in Rose's life due to my profession, I wanted to keep her safe and I made damn sure she had everything she ever needed.

"Janine, you have to be strong for her, you tried but nothing was working, her depression was getting out of hand, we had to get her out of there" I said trying to calm her down.

Janine called me hysterical one night telling me Rose was in a car accident and the person she was with didn't make it. I had to resist every urge my body had to go comfort my little girl, Janine told me she was beating herself up about it and changed drastically. I never had any physical contact with my daughter but I made sure Janine called me every week and let me know what was going on. My desk was filled with pictures of her since birth, pictures she probably didn't even know existed. When I got the call from Janine, I felt my heart was going to come back up through my throat. I didn't know if she was okay or if she had any serious injuries, I felt powerless.

"I left her Abe! She needed me, she needs me and I left her. How do we know she's doing okay? What if she..." she started crying heavily again and I knew why.

"She wouldn't, she's a strong girl, and she just needs time and space. Keeping her locked up would have done her no good, she never left the house, it wasn't healthy" I explained.

"You know, that night when I got that phone call, I thought she was dead, and I remember thinking there could be no feeling worse than that, but now I know there is, and it's this. Knowing that our child isn't okay and we can't help her, she's torturing herself, she's slowly dying" she said.

In a way she was right, we couldn't help Rose, god knows Janine tried, she tried everything but there was no getting to her. The guilt was eating up at her fragile soul and those damn kids from her school weren't making matters any better, on her first day back she was attacked by criticism from her peers and teachers, when I heard I wanted to snap each of their necks for hurting my little girl, they had no idea how she was taking this whole thing, they didn't know they slowly broke her. After that day she refused to go back to school and didn't leave the house, a father's worse nightmare is seeing his baby so sad, well in my case knowing thanks to her mother, so torn up, so gone. The Rose we knew and loved was gone, and she thought her mother left her.

If Janine had kept her at home she'd be hurting her more than doing her good. She resented her for sending her away, if she only knew her motives, our motives, maybe she'd understand. I hope my little girl is doing better now.

"She's going to make it, I'll be damned if I let anything, ANYTHING at all happen to her Janine, she's our daughter, she'll find her way"

"I hope you're right Abe, for all of our sakes" she said while hanging up.

* * *

ROSE POV:

"Earth to Rosie"

I whipped my head back startled by the sudden noise.

Christian.

"I've been calling your name for like 5 minutes Rose, are you okay?" he asked with the concern evident in his eyes, this must be Lissa doing, I mentally groaned.

"I'm fine" I said harsher than I meant to.

"Do I look like an idiot to you? – wait don't answer that" he said while flashing a small smile.

"I'm alright Christian, now run along & go tell Lissa" I said while shooing him with my hand.

"Lissa didn't tell me to come, I came because I wanted to know if you were okay" his honesty appalled me.

"Rose I know what it's like to lose somebody, I lost both my parents to some drug dealers who had nothing but revenge on their minds, I saw them get murdered, and it's something I have to live with everyday, but I deal with it & push past it, you have to do the same" I can't believe he's comparing him losing his parents to me losing Mason, he had no control over what happened, he was a child, he couldn't do anything even if he tried.

"The only difference is you had nothing to do with their death, I could have saved him Christian, I should have done something" I said with my bottom lip trembling.

"What about you Rose? Who was thinking about you in that moment, or your injuries? You could have died while trying to save him, what matters is that you TRIED, you didn't sit there and do nothing, you did what you could without thinking about yourself and in all honestly I admire that, but if you ever tell anyone I said that I will deny it" he said with a grin.

"Thank you" I said while pulling him into a hug.

"Forgive yourself Rose, once you do, your life will have a new sense of direction"

"Who knew you could be Dr. Chris" I said with a faint smile.

"Anything to help the mentally distressed, what kind of a boyfriend would I be if I let my girlfriends best friend go insane? Lissa needs you Rose" he said while looking a bit sad.

"I was in the car." I blurted out.

"What?" he asked clearly puzzled.

Adrian heard us and walked to us and gave Christian a look to see if he knew what I was talking about.

"In the car accident that killed her parents, I was with them. We were on our way back home from a weekend getaway Lissa's mom planned. Lissa and I were in the back seat with Andre, Lissa's brother, we were laughing about something when suddenly we felt something crash onto my side, the car started flipping, it spun and crashed into the ground about 5 times before it came to a stop against some trees. Lissa managed to get me out of the car and far enough for the flames couldn't get to me. I slowly regained consciousness and woke up to a hysterical Lissa, I had to hold her back from going back to the car, she was so worn out, she passed out next to me. I inspected her thoroughly making sure she didn't have any injuries, I didn't know what to do Christian, I was trying to analyze what happened, it just happened too fast. I got up and moved closer to the car, I started screaming Lissa's dad's name hoping to get a reply, or any sign of life. As I move to the front of the car I saw gray chunks of something that looked like broccoli on the road, as I moved closer I saw Eric, he was thrown out through the front window, and I slowly connected the two. The gray chunks were Eric's brain. I scream and screamed after putting 2 and 2 together, I frantically started looking for her mom, she was next to the car by the passenger side, she had no blood inside her anymore, her lips were blue and half her face was on fire, then I saw Andre, his..,his head was barely attached to his body anymore, I felt nauseous and started puking, I could faintly hear sirens and an ambulance, they were coming for us, I felt so relived but then I realized they were gone, really gone. I let out a muffled scream; most of it was for Lissa, a few seconds before the police cars reached us I passed out. Lissa didn't see any of that, she never left my side, and it was for the best, she would have died if she saw her family like that" I said with tears running down my face.

God I was so sick of crying, it seems like that's all I do lately.

"Oh my god Rose" said Adrian while looking like he was going to be sick.

"Thank you" was all Christian said.

"For what?" I asked.

"Not letting her see it, or telling her, you don't know how grateful I am" but I did, I could see it in his eyes. He wanted Lissa to be safe, and that was all that mattered to him.

In a way what he said bothered me. Did he not care that I was the one who had to see everything? I had to see my best friend falling apart; I was scarred with those images till this day, and now Mason. God what did I do to deserve this?

Breathe Rose, in and out.

"She's my best friend, I would lay my life out for her" I replied meaning every word.

"You're so brave little Ripsi" said Adrian with admiration in his eyes.

"Everything okay?" was asked by none other than the Russian God who was inspecting us for who knows how long.

"Yeah just having some bonding time with the demon" said Christian obviously trying to play off our little "meeting".

"Everything's perfect in paradise" replied Adrian with a smile.

I just stood there and smiled.

"Well if all 3 of you got enough of my banging body, I have things to do and people to see, Adrian, we still on for tonight?" I said making up whatever came to mind and ended with a wink.

I walked; well more like ran off to find Lissa.

* * *

I searched around for her but no luck, I should have asked Sparky, also known as Christian, that guy has some serious fire issues, it amazes him, but never the less, he proved he was a good kid and he's nice to Lissa so I can handle everything else.

I went back to the Hotel and went and knocked on her door.  
She opened the door and immediately tackled me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Rose, I was just trying to help" she said while crying onto my shoulder.

"Liss, it's okay, I overreacted, I'm not mad I promise" I reassured her with a smile.

"Don't ever scare me like that again Rosemarie, I thought you hated me" she said with a pout.

**_Boy you got my heart beat running awayyyy..._**

I looked down and saw I had a text from lover boy, Adrian.

"_What's happening between us tonight? ;)" _poor delusional Adrian.

I replied: "_Needed an excuse to get away from Belikov, don't get your hopes up "_

Soon enough I heard my phone ring again, I could tell my ringtone was irritating Lissa. I grinned at her.

"_There's a teen night going on tonight at the hotel's lobby, you down?"_

I quickly replied back_ "Sure, try something Adriany and you're tomorrows lunch see you 10 ;)"_

"Looks like I have a date with Ivashkov" I stated to Lissa.

"What?" she shrieked.

"He invited, I could use the free time" I said while shrugging.

"I could ask Christian for some condoms…" she said innocently.

I literally felt my heart drop through my ass.

"WHAT? There will be no such thing" I said in a matter-of-factly tone, "We're just going to hang out, two friends, just hanging out, no sex, no touchy, no nothing, just friends, hanging out" I said slowly trying to make sure it got into her brain.  
"Whatever you say Rosie" she said with a wink.

Oh god, my best friend thinks I'm going to fuck Adrian, gross. I rather slit my own throat, claw out my eyes, boil myself in acid, give myself frostbite, get ran over by a train and then repeat the process.

Adrian is a great kid, he's 21, loaded with money, above average in the look department, and has those enchanting emerald eyes, but he annoyed me to no end. He's the type of guy you'd hook up with, not be in a serious relationship with, which I doubt he wants with me, he probably just wants a good fuck. He could be really sweet though. Good god, men everywhere. Ugh I swear I'm going lesbian.

"Do you think Dimitri will let you out?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't he? We're not at the academy and I'm not going to be alone, I see no harm" I replied back confidently.

"If you say so" she said with a Lissa smile, damn her for being so cute.

But I knew damn well that life, unfortunately, doesn't seem to care what I want.

* * *

**REVIEW please (:**

**Also send me ideas :D**


	17. You & I

**Sorry for taking so long to update ): **

**I've been so busy studying for my TAKS test :(**

**I promise i'll do better.**

**I hope you enjoy & REVIEW (: **

* * *

"Is Rose here?" The Russian asked Lissa.

"Yeah she's in bathroom" Replied Lissa with a smile.

"What's it to ya comrade?" I said while coming out.

"Wanna try that again Hathaway?" He asked.

"Nope" I said popping the 'p'.

Dimitri shook his head in disbelief and mumbled something in Russian.

"It's rude to talk about people in languages they don't understand" I said matter of factly.

"Learn in then" he said like it was the easiest thing in the world.

"I don't have the patience to tie my shoes, and you want me to learn another language? HA in your dreams comrade"

He chuckled and said "What am I going to do with you Rose?" while walking out of Lissa's room with my arm in his grip.

"Love me, feed me, never leave me" I replied half way down the hallway.

"What?" he said while lifting his eyebrow.

"You asked what you were going to do with me, you're going to love me, feed me, and never leave me" I said with a grin.

He barked out the cutest laugh and the most honest smile I have ever seen, I felt my legs turning to goo as he replied "That I can do, Roza"

I just smiled back at him and thought to myself what an amazing man was next to me.

* * *

"Dimitriiiiiiiiiiiii" I barked out while laying in the bed fetal position after throwing some hot water in my face.

"Yes Rose" He said without turning to see me.

"I don't feel good" as soon as those words left my mouth he dropped what he had in his hands and ran towards me, in less than 3 seconds he was at my side.

"What hurts Rose?" he said with his tone full of concern.

"My head, my stomach, my throat" I said with a pout.

He ran his hand through my hair and said "it's going to be okay Roza, let me go get you some water"

With that he walked out the door and I pulled his phone out of the drawer and quickly called Adrian.

"What do you want Belikov?" he said with an annoyed tone.

"It's Rose, I'm playing sick so I can sneak out, I'll be out by 11pm, meet me at the pool" I said quickly before hanging up and deleting the call.

I ran and jumped into the bed again and settled myself down just in time because a second later Dimitri walked in with my water and some pills.

"Here take these" he said while handing me the pills.

I took them and hid them under my tongue while chocking down the water.

"Thank you" I managed to say.

He turned around, his back towards me and I spit the pills out behind the bed and sat back down.

"Do you want to go to the infirmary?" he asked me. _Oh shit._

"NO" I practically yelled out, "I hate those things, I'm just tired, I'll sleep it off" I said trying to sound convincing.

"Okay Rose, we'll stay in tonight, let me go tell the others" he said while kissing my forehead.

Oh god, what is this man doing to me? I'm going crazy over him.

I got up and grabbed a plastic bag that was in the restroom and went to my duffle bag and pulled out some denim shorts, with an aqua top and stuck them into the bag along with some flip-flops.

I opened the main door and peeked outside to see if anyone was coming, once the coast was clear I tiptoed out and hid the bag in the plant next to our room making sure you couldn't see it and ran back inside the room. I felt like such a ninja.

I heard footsteps and jumped back into bed before the door busted open.

"Okay, I told the others, they're having an early night too, and tomorrow we're going back to the academy at 10am" he said while leaning down to touch my forehead.

"You're cooling off, hopefully you'll be better by tomorrow morning, now go ahead and try and get some sleep" I nodded and turned my back to him while shutting my eyes. I glanced over to the clock and it read: _8:57pm._ 2 hours and 3 minutes. Dimitri had to be asleep by then.

Only problem was I had to actually stay awake, if I were to drift off I probably wouldn't wake up, so I had to lay still for 2 hours without falling asleep. Great.

* * *

Tick tock, tick tock was all those 2 hours consisted of.

I carefully turned around, making it seem like I was readjusting my position, and sneaked a glance at Dimitri, he was fast asleep, his chest was moving up and down in a steady rhythm, mission Get the Fuck Out has just commenced.

I slowly got up from the bed, making sure to replace my body with pillows and cover them up tightly with blankets; I didn't want to seem like a big blob. I then tiptoed my way around the bed and across the room making sure I didn't make a sound, I reached for the doorknob and slowly started pulling on it till I could see a faint line of light on the floor and carefully sucked my stomach in and squeezed out so I couldn't wake Dimitri.

Once I was out I closed the door and fist pumped for my success, I quickly grabbed the bag and headed to the restroom to change.

"Little Ripsi! You made it" said Adrian while greeting me with a hug.

"I said I was, didn't I?" I said while giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"How did you manage to get away from the big bad Russian?" he said amused.

"Ugh, I had to play sick and literally lay in bed for 2 hours without falling asleep, see the things I do for you?" I said with a smile.

"Who knew you had a soft side?" he asked jokingly.

"Only hot guys" I said with a wink.

"Let's party" he shouted while fist pumping in the air.

_**Let's go all the way tonight no regrets, just love, we can dance, until we die, you and I, will be young forever. You make me feel like I'm living' a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, I can't sleep let's run away and don't ever look back.**_

I danced and danced with Adrian, I was having the time of my life just letting loose, it felt good to away for a moment, no struggles, no worries, no school, just me and Adrian having an amazing time drinking and dancing like there was no tomorrow.

"You're a beast little Ripsi" he said while tipping over. Adrian was GONE, he was beyond drunk.

I took a look at his watch and it was 3am, maybe it's time to go back.

"Maybe we should head back Adrian" I said while helping him up.

"Nonsense baby, the night is young" he said while trying to get another drink.

I walked away from Adrian and headed towards the restroom when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey baby, leaving so soon?" said a guy I've never seen before.

"You have 2 seconds to get your hands off me before I snap your neck" I said with my eyes shut.

"Playing hard to get? I like them feisty" he said while his hands traveled down my body until they reached my ass.

"What the fuck you creep, get your hands off me" I said while struggling to get away from him.

"She said get your hands off her" said a very familiar Russian voice, that might I add, didn't sound too happy.

"Who the fuck are you?" asked the creep, before looking up at the 6'7 scary looking man, "Her body guard?"

"Something like that" he replied before punching the creep in the face.

"_I'm next"_ I thought to myself.


	18. Sorry

I am **SO** sorry I haven't updated this story.

I've been SO busy with school, and I have a _**NASTY**_ ear infection that wont go away ):

I've been on so many drugs that im surprised im not in the ground already.

All my other stories already have prewritten chapters, but this one doesn't ):

I promise to update in the next week.

Im so sorry ):


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